How To Step Back So Mindfulness Can Step In

Living mindfully is all about living in the present moment in a place of non judgment and acceptance- this takes time and patience. You cannot expect to achieve this after an evening seminar, a thought provoking book, a weekend workshop, a teacher certification..and no, a trip to India will not bestow enlightened status either.  In fact you cannot be looking for it at all, it just happens gradually, in its own time, guided by an invisible force that leads the way. So, How to step back so mindfulness can step in? Here are 5 tips to help you live more mindfully.

  1. Let go of expectations.  Though every action leads to a reaction, when you let go of expectations you are not placing a hope on a intended reaction. Instead, during interactions, do not think about what you may or may not get out of the exchange or feel that you need to protect/defend your point of you. Simply allow the exchange to unfold. Replace expectation and enjoy the experience                                                                                                                                                         
  2. Stop judging. A judgment keeps you trapped in duality – right/wrong, good/bad, better/worse. It also keeps you tethered to expectation. If you do something better than someone else you will get a higher reward: more money, increased status, a promotion, more friends…  Replace judgment with observations.                                                                                                                              
  3. Step way from consumerism. Consumerism equates with needing more to satisfy the ego. The ego is never satisfied with what is. It pushes you to acquire more so you can feel that you are more somehow.  This does not mean you need to deprive yourself in any way. Instead, choose to fill your heart with gratitude.  Replace needing more with gratitude.                                         
  4. Embrace contradictions. It makes sense to want clarity. However, the issue arises when clarity pushes you into an “all or nothing” binary mindset. For instance, you can be successful, smart, disciplined, loving in one area of your life and ignorant, weak willed, sneaky and manipulative in another. To  bring polar opposites  of black and white together to create the colour grey accept all parts of your multifaceted self. Replace “all or nothing” thinking with acceptance of all that is.                                                                                                              
  5. Don’t get discouraged.  Give yourself a second, third, fourth, fifth…. chance when you make a mistake. When learning basic skills like reading, writing, and arithmetic  you don’t quit after a setback. You do what is needed to learn to read, write and do your sums so you can function in the world. Learning to live mindfully is a skill that is just as important. When you find yourself giving in to worry and fear, get curious about new ways to move you into the here and now present tense. Replace discouragement  with  curiosity.                                                                                                                                                                       ….and then perhaps, the more you can let go of expectations, stop judging, step away from consumerism, embrace contradictions and limit discouragement, you may notice that you are spending more and more time enjoying the present moment without even trying.

Allow yourself to step back so mindfulness can step in

To learn more, join me for my next event in Montreal                                     “How meditation and mindfulness can help”                                                              Info session to learn more about meditation and mindfulness.                             Tuesday November 27, 2018 from 6.30 to 8.30 pm                                                       2962 Rue Lapierre in Lasalle.                                                                                                  RSVP to reserve your spot Here                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)

Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation
Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com

 

 

 

 

How To Keep Your Ego In Check So It Does Not Hinder Your Spiritual Growth?

Living aligned with values and truth is not always easy and, even less so, when you feel pressure to compete in order to survive. With the recent explosion of all things related to wellness and health, yoga is feeling the pressure too. The proliferation of yoga has attracted a lot more resources than it has in the past, making yoga a more attractive commodity. However, dovetailing on this popularity is “bottom line” thinking needed to survive in what has become, to me, a cut throat market. This in turn, compromises yoga’s very foundation as a spiritual practice.

I believe yoga is spirituality and spirituality is yoga- they are one. Spirituality is in the realm of the soul and resides in the loving heart. It is not possible, in my humble opinion, that spirituality is connected to something other than true love. That to me, is just not spirituality. Running a business, on the other hand,  happens with the help of the ego in the head. Inevitably the ego will but heads (excuse the pun 🙂 with your Spirit. So what can you do, as a student of yoga to keep your ego in check so it does not stand in the way of your spiritual growth?

  1. Commit to your spiritual growth. One of the  many Universal laws that govern life states that if you are not growing you are shrinking. Therefore, in my opinion, when you commit to your spirituality you are also committing to growing spiritually.  Spiritual growth cannot happen unless your spirit is running the show so your ego needs to take a back seat. There is a steep learning curve here and it doesn’t take long before realizing that moving your ego from the front seat to the back takes work and then getting it to stay there takes time.
  2. Understand growth is out of your control. Growth does not happen in a vacuum. Your Spirit is unbounded and limitless and cannot be contained. There are many components to spiritual growth. First of all the three dimensions of Body/Mind/ and Spirit need to expand. Sometimes the three grow in unison and sometimes they don’t. Furthermore your B/M/Spirit needs to keep pace, without getting too far ahead or too far behind, with the growth of others around you. This further gets complicated by the fact that every living thing has a consciousness that vibrates differently and is seeking others that vibrate at the same speed. Growth seems to have a mind of its own so all you can do is learn to flow with the flow. Like a flowing river, at times the flow is strong, at others it is weak and then at others it appears stagnant.                                                                                           
  3. Notice the role your ego is playing. Your ego will want to keep you trapped in fear where you will be worried about your “safety”- lacking in financial resources, in danger or isolated somehow. This fear will push you to be in a constant state of wanting more- To fortify your fort and stockpile resources, as it were. This need for more is what keeps you trapped in stress and anxiety until you realize that you will only feel safe when you connect to your true nature. Nothing outside of you will ever provide true safety. No amount of money, status, friends, job will ever be able to create the  “safety” you are looking for. Greed and waste are the bi-products of the ego chasing after what it thinks it needs to be safe rather than what it truly desires to be free. The ego is never happy with what is. Spirituality is all about dwelling in the perfection of the present moment.
  4. Notice the role your soul is playing.  When you experience love, peace, trust and are in a place of oneness with all there is, you are living in your soul and being guided by your inner wisdom. This wisdom wants you to remember your soul and connect to its perfection.  In Oneness there can be no competition only cooperation. How can you compete with yourself?  Does your hand compete with your foot? No they both work together, honouring the different roles they each play. Likewise, how can you compete with your neighbour who is part of the same whole as you ?
  5. Notice attachments and practice detachment.  Notice what you are attached to: money, spouse, friends, family, children, pets, home,  status, health, job, addictions, youth…Detaching from your attachments does not necessarily mean letting them go, it means realizing that your “happiness” does not depend on them. Like everything in life, the magic happens when you begin to accept.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Next event in Montreal:                                                                                                     “How meditation and mindfulness can help”                                                              Info night to learn how these practices can help you lower stress and increase inner peace.                                                                                                                  Tuesday November 27, 2018 from 6.30 to 8.30 pm                                                        2962 Rue Lapierre in Lasalle.                                                                                                  RSVP to reserve your spot Here                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)

Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation
Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com

 

 

 

 

 

Six Practical Tips to Stand Up To The Patriarchy And For What You Believe In

I don’t know about you, but I am rather distraught about recent news items. It’s easy to feel powerless and ignore egregious injustices happening in the world and this trend seems to only be gaining momentum. Rather than waiting for the proverbial saviour, I believe we can each help reverse the tide by pushing out of our comfort zone. This means standing up to the patriarchy and for what we believe in.

I have said this before, the patriarchal mindset was helpful for a long time, it has accomplished great things and a lot of good has come out of it. However, I also believe it’s gone as far as it needs to go. What is needed now is change- Change to a more caring and loving way of interacting with one another.

In a previous blog “Is Colluding With The Patriarchy The Only Way?“, I defined what the patriarchy means to me- as any structure that is controlling, divisive, hierarchical and competitive, I  offered five things you can do to build awareness and suggested a new vision of how you could live more lovingly with your neighbour. Today, I share some actionable steps to stand up to the patriarchy and create change. Yes, change is possible- when everyone does their bit together, mountains can be moved.

  1. Get Angry                                                                                                                                    Get over any limiting beliefs that your anger is wrong. This notion that anger is wrong is a foil the patriarchy uses to control you. When basic human rights are violated you have every reason to get angry. Face any ingrained fears of being labelled angry, an angry person, having anger issues, crazy, hysterical, irrational,  or being accused of having some kind of mental illness…                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Historically real change has happened in the wake of  angry men and women who have allowed their anger to fuel action: The Civil Rights Movement, the Sufragettes, the Resistance, Political Revolutions… Leaders of these movements did not always appear to be zen, peace loving people, they wanted change and their anger galvanized action. By the same token, some of the most calculating psychopaths we know of appear calm, composed and charming on the surface. Healing anger is not about eradicating it but learning to express it in healthy ways.                                                                                                                                                                                                       You don’t need to start a movement or lead a march to make a difference, but you can give yourself permission to feel what you are feeling and hold it in a loving space. It then becomes easier to express in a safe way, and used as a catalyst for change. Anger (and all emotion for that matter) appears to make people uncomfortable when it gets unleashed. Inevitably this happens as a result of it being kept under lock and key.                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Learn to safely express anger and harness it to support rather than harm 

2. Share concerns                                                                                                                  There is a genuine need to belong and be part of a pack and that is fine, but when this need is also laced with a fear of being kicked out for expressing valid concerns this becomes problematic. Rather than respecting differing points of view, these concerns get perceived as criticism and negativity by the narcissistic mindset rather than ideas and opinions worth listening to.                                                                                                                                                  Whenever any group punishes, in any way, its members for voicing concerns they are reinforcing principles of control, division, hierarchy and competition. This can unwillingly push people to become so enthralled with embracing group think that they become  cheerleaders, often cheering just for the sake of being seen as a team player rather than cheering because their heart is truly into it.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Learn to voice and listen to concerns with compassion  

3. Get curious 

When you are learning to stand up for what you believe in, judgement is not helpful. Whether you are judging yourself or someone else, judgment will get in the way by keeping you trapped in duality. Instead, chose to become curious. Curiosity helps foster empathy so you can look at a situation from different angles without getting emotionally charged. “ummm interesting that she/he/I said/did/thought…wonder why that was said/done or thought…” Get over any worries about making  a mistake, being misunderstood or judged .                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Your ego may fear standing out from the pack because you have no doubt been punished in the past for ruffling some feathers. You may have received the message that it was safer to stay on the sidelines. I believe that your true self always accepts the reality of any situation you are in without judging it in a binary fashion. As more and more stand up for what they believe in, it becomes easier for others to follow suit. This happens  because the quantum field of consciousness changes each time a new person finds the courage to say “enough is enough!”.

Learn to practice non judgmental awareness 

4) Take action                                                                                                                       Weigh the costs of taking a stand and determine how much you are willing to risk. Are you willing to leave your job because your boss is asking you to act out of integrity with yourself? Are you willing to share a controversial opinion at a party with your peers? Are you willing to defend a friend, a colleague, a child whom you believe has been unfairly treated? Are you willing to post a concern on Facebook when you are in the minority, “FB like” a controversial comment or simply share a personal message no one else will see. Whatever your comfort level, take some kind of action and push yourself beyond what you would do normally.

Learn to weigh the cost, decide how far to go and take some form of action

5) Trust Life  

The patriarchy teaches us that if we don’t follow the rules or make a “mistake” we will be poor, alone, unprotected and therefore will suffer and be unsafe in the world.  This belief keeps us shackled to the patriarchal mindset. My opinion is that when we believe our needs will be met they will be and when we believe that they will not be, they will not. If you want to free yourself from the hold the patriarchal mindset has over you, you can start believing that it is safe to be yourself and to be your own master.                                                                                                                                                                            In your heart, you know you will be fine if you leave that job that depletes you, that marriage that demeans you, those friends that criticize you, those colleagues that don’t respect you. It is in your head, that you feel worry and fear. You have the power within your heart to do what it takes to feel nourished, honoured and accepted.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Learn to trust the wisdom in your heart 

6. Keep It Simple 

The patriarchy wants you to believe that you need a lot of “stuff” to be safe and you need to be “busy” to be productive. This is another limiting belief that keeps you shackled to the patriarchal system. How can you afford your house, cars, schools, clothes, trips, parties and fun unless you continue to accept the rules dictated by the patriarchy? You have choices and there are alternatives. You do not need these distractions you only think you do.                                                                                                                                                                          Learn to connect to what you truly desire rather than what you think you need.  

Change can happen, mountains can be moved and everyone can make a difference when they stand up for what they believe in by unshackling themselves from the hold controlling, hierarchical, divisive and competitive patriarchal systems and people have over them. Replace judgment with curiosity and practice non judgmental awareness. Use your anger to fuel you towards positive action. Trust that everything will be fine by listening to your heart and then it will be easy to simplify your life.

Remember, you are doing your best and are a student in the earth school of life learning to love, just like everyone else and this, like everything else I say and write about, is just my humble opinion.  

Namaste, be kind to yourself!

Nicole

Nicole Rolland

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)

Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation
Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com

 

How to Hold Sacred Healing Space for a Loved One?

Let’s face it, most people are uncomfortable with strong emotion- be it anger, sadness, negativity, fear, passion and even love often scares people. As a result, many will go to great lengths to avoid being confronted with emotion in themselves, or in others. They are then surprised when they witness violent outbreaks, pandemics of depression, suicide, drug abuse, mystery illnesses or even homelessness.

Emotions are catalysts for growth and change so a potent healing tool is not being used each time an emotion is suppressed.  In fact, I believe we are each being invited to learn to honour our emotions for the gifts they truly are. What can you do to allow your emotions to guide you and your loved ones into deeper levels of health and wellness?

Choice to wound or to heal 

You each have the capacity to heal or to wound with every word you utter, action you take and thought that goes through your head. (Of course, the recipient also has to make the choice to be healed or hurt). When children are forced to swallow tears, anger, criticism, or sadness for example,  feelings of shame are perpetuated  where it’s not ok for them to get their needs met by the outside world. When needs are met, children learn to trust and when they trust they can grow into adults that learn to meet their own needs. The reality is that many children, despite well meaning parents,  do not learn this lesson in the safety of the family nucleus so they need to learn it as a grown up. It’s never too late to learn this skill.

So how to learn to navigate strong emotions?

The first step is to give yourself permission to feel. Ignoring an emotion or using your will to push it away does not teach you to navigate the emotion, it simply strengthens the wound. When you skillfully navigate an emotion you allow the emotion to lead you to the healing you need. Growth happens when you heal and decay happens when you avoid.

For many, this is no easy task so you may need a loved one to be there to support you through the process- This is where learning to hold sacred space can be very handy. The trick is to become a compassionate, silent witness to whatever emotion is being expressed without allowing yourself to be triggered. If you are holding space for yourself you do this by separating yourself from the emotion. You are not the emotion after all, you are simply experiencing it at this time.  You then can become your own personal witness to the emotion you are feeling.  By the same token, if you are holding the space for someone else, all you need to do is  to compassionately witness their emotion without reacting in any way. You become the mirror that validates their experience. So, for instance if your child is crying inconsolably you can just hold them lovingly in your arms until the crying stops. If your partner is raging you can lovingly hold your ground and let them vent as much as they need to. The key is to not try to stop the flow of emotion, try to fix, argue back or give advice in any way.

Watch out! you may become triggered yourself 

What often happens here is that the pain you are trying to hold space for triggers your own pain, and you suddenly find yourself overcome with emotion. When this happens, unless you learn to hold space for your own pain, this emotion will be directed to the person you are trying to support and negate any support (and possibly even deepen their wound).

If you become triggered by your loved ones pain, you can hold the space for yourself by noticing what you are feeling- sadness, anger, frustration or whatever is surfacing for you. Get curious “Ummm, interesting- I wonder why these feelings are coming up for me as I show support for this person.” Accept the feelings without judging them, breathe and allow them to wash over you until the charge is gone.

What I appreciate most about this process is how we can each heal each other – Teacher/ student, parent/child, therapist/patient…. The limiting belief that certain people, by virtue of the role they play, are more entitled than others to heal or to teach is just not correct.

Notice the shaming statements you perhaps experienced by a teacher or a family member when you were growing up and probably even used yourself at some point: “Stop crying! Don’t be a baby! Crying is for sissies! Stop manipulating me! Stop making me feel guilty! “You may have some others to add here. As you bring your awareness to these memories,  hold space for yourself and enjoy some gentle healing.

Visualize your sacred healing space

When I hold space for others or myself, I like to visualize a bubble that fills up with the emotion and then when the emotion has been fully expressed and the charge is gone the bubble vanishes. You could also visualize a mirror, a container, a body of water or anything that makes sense to you. Simply setting an intention does the job too if visualization is not your thing. There is no right or wrong way to do this. A genuine desire to support a loved one in pain is all it takes to get the ball rolling. When you “hold space” for someone the space suddenly turns into a healing space and you become a healer.  This healing space then becomes a “sacred healing space” when this space moves you one step closer to remembering the wholeness you are, have always been and will always be.

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)

Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation
Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com

 

 

 

 

Is Colluding With the Patriarchy the Only Way?

You most probably collude with the patriarchy to some degree and who can blame you? The patriarchy has been running the show for a long time  and appears to provide a strong foundation to an affluent and secure life. I believe it is now time to let it go and replace it with some thing else.  There are certainly benefits to buying into the patriarchal way of life hook line and sinker, but there are pitfalls as well. Lets take a closer look…

First of all, let me clarify what I mean by patriarchy. I am referring to structures that are hierarchical, competitive, controlling and divisive in nature. I am not referring to any version of the “me too” movement, or women controlling the world in any way shape or form. For the purposes of this article I am discussing alternatives to the patriarchy (which include both men and women) controlling the patriarchal systems that were  established  thousands of years ago  with  the fall of the Pagan earth ways. These structures have served us well in many ways. Though we are beginning to see new structures take root, the old patriarchal systems do continue to govern how we live, how we love, how we raise our children, how we worship, how we learn, how we punish, how we are entertained and how we interact with friend, foe and neighbour. Perhaps they do their job, but do they do it as well as they could and at what cost?

The problem with these systems , as I see it, is that they have created too much separation between people and have disconnected us from our true nature. People are stressed, depressed and living in fear. Eventually, this fear burns a hole in the soul and pushes people to act against personal principles of integrity. Sure, many people know the difference between so-called notions of “right” and “wrong” and have some form of moral compass but to what extent do they live by this compass.  What do you do to stand up against what you believe to be an injustice? Society teaches us at a young age to stand down and to shut up. The patriarchy teaches us to value status, money, appearance and public recognition above all else. But, what about its impact on heart and soul…

Furthermore, we need to examine whether the patriarchy truly offers us the affluence and security we believe it does. Every day we read about hard working, educated people that have followed the “success” rules of the patriarchy and are suddenly made redundant, lose their jobs, see their pensions wiped out, fortunes stolen, families broken up or possessions destroyed. And yet we continue to believe that this system is the only way – a system that enslaves us to money, status, possessions, where nothing is ever enough. And then, for those who have managed to hang on to money, status and possessions well into their old age what have they lost in so doing? health, family, love….

Mother nature is sending out a cry for help and she has had enough. She is tired of being abused and seeing many of her children suffer while others look away. You can take a stand by doing your bit to let go of the hold the patriarchy has on the world. I am pretty sure this will happen soon enough in any event (the signs are obvious)  so you can chose to dig in your heels, erect higher walls around your personal  kingdom, refuse to accept that the current situation is not sustainable and needs to evolve or you can chose to be a leader and help the process along. If you chose the latter, here are some tips you may find helpful:

  1. Notice the role that money, status, possessions play in your life. Just notice without judging yourself in anyway.
  2. Notice choices you make to attract more money, increase your status and acquire more possessions.
  3. Ask yourself who you would be if you lost your money, your status and/or your possessions and conversely if you suddenly acquired any/all of these.
  4. Take a risk, a small risk perhaps, but a risk all the same to stand up for something you believe in.
  5. Imagine a world where people were loved for no reason at all, just for being who they came into this world to be- Imagine and dream….

Imagine and dream a world into being where it is possible, safe and actually encouraged to be loving, kind and compassionate to everyone you come into contact with and in all you do. Imagine a  world where you not only tend to your garden but to your neighbour’s as well, a world where everyone matters, a world where  you look to serve and to support. Imagine if everyone did this…..Let your imagination soar.

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)

Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation
Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com

 

Top 10 Ways to Love – Angel Style

Angels love differently. As an earth angel or an aspiring one, you may find my top 10 ways to love- angel style  useful to help you ride the angelic wave of love. When you learn to love like an angel you can easily pick yourself up when you trip and fall. It is my opinion that angels, like everyone, have accidents.  In fact, they often do because the very qualities that make them angels are the ones that make them accident prone. The important thing is to know when you have fallen and to get yourself back up again as fast as you can.

Connect to your angelic nature and step into the earth angel you are and have always been.

  1. Take a time out- Love is not conditional                                                               Angels do not set conditions to their love. They just love you the way you are. They may chose not to spend time with you and that’s ok because angels have a special responsibility to manage their energy. Angels understand that everyone vibrates at a special speed that is right for them. It is exhausting to keep up with the faster ones and it is frustrating to wait around for the slower ones.  You may even notice that some days you vibrate at a certain speed and other days you vibrate quite differently. You cannot force others to fly at your speed. Just take a time out and then see what happens.
  2. Release Expectations Love is not transactional                                                       Angels do not transact in love but focus on sharing instead (for more on this, read my blog ” A quick tip to recharge your battery so you don’t get depressed”). Though they respect the causal nature of the Universe and understand that karma is always at play they do not feed energy into this exchange. You know when to rest, play, work- each activity seamlessly flows into the next. You always have what you need when you need it so there is no need to expect anything at all.                                                                                                                                                          
  3. Embrace Abundance – Love does not have a price tag                                                    Angels live in abundance and appreciate the simple pleasures in life. Many are gifts from Mother Nature and are available to everyone- a glowing sunset, a vibrant rainbow, a blooming flower, a frozen pond, towering mountains or the golden foliage of fall. You may also appreciate your shiny new car or dress and that’s fine too because you live in a place of gratitude. Fortunes come and go, abundance is always available.
  4. Accept Perfection- Love is not judgmental                                                                        Angels practice non judgmental  awareness. They do not judge in the binary paradigm of right/wrong, worthy/unworthy, good/bad, crazy/wise but rather expand their awareness to accept all that is. They do not see mistakes but see learning opportunities. They do not see enemies but see teachers instead. You, too, no doubt are on a learning path where you are learning what you need to learn.  There is no judgment either way because nothing is better or worse than anything else- there is no duality in the angelic realm on earth. Everything originates from the same divine source so how can anything be anything other than perfect just the way it is.
  5. Speak your truth- Love speaks truth                                                                                   Angels try their best to be honest and sincere. They speak their truth and listen to the truth of others. When you are upset by someone’s political opinion, personal value or belief system you take responsibility for being triggered and tend to the healing you need. You see all truth as valid as they all originate from the same place. The one great Truth that we are Truth never changes, truth does. ( For more on this- ch 6. in my book “Stepping into Consciousness- a Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning and Abundance).
  6. Let go of any agenda – Love does not manipulate                                                       Angels do not hide behind false platitudes, nor do they pretend to be “phoney nice”. This phoney niceness is done to manipulate a situation or person to be who or what they want. Angels feel and angels have emotions- they are not robots. You accept your  emotions and do not use emotions to manipulate others. You try to align your actions, words and thoughts to the best of your ability. You practice discernment to protect yourself but not to manipulate others or a situation.
  7. Listen to your inner wisdom – Love knows what and who it is                                Angels manage their ego and do not let it run the show. Angels understand that external constructs such as wealth, possessions, titles can all disappear from one moment to another and these do not define them. You may see these as tools to being an angel on earth. Naturally you need food, shelter and relationships. You connect to your inner wisdom and keep your ego in check so you can balance your material and spiritual responsibilities.
  8. Be of service and show support – Love cares                                                                    Angels are sensitive beings because they feel and they feel because they are sensitive. When you feel you naturally care. On a macro level you may be concerned about being of service to humanity in whatever way you can and on a micro one you may be thinking what you can do to support a loved one. Angels always have time for this important task. As your ego is in check you are not consumed by being too busy or too stressed. There is always time to do something- whether big or small, any gesture can be done to show caring.
  9. Take nothing personally- Love forgives and stands up for itself                              Angels do not shame, punish or reproach but on occasion they do need to take a stand when their energy is compromised. They try to bring together rather than separate to the best of their ability. When you fall off your path, you forgive yourself without saying sorry but rather by making amends. When you feel hurt, you feel the hurt. When the hurt turns into suffering you ask why you are choosing to suffer and make another choice instead.
  10. See love in everyone and everything- Love turns poison into nectar                     Angels trust and believe in the intrinsic loving nature of humans. Whatever is being expressed, be it anger, fear, sadness, the root is always love.  Whatever is dished out can be turned into a healing balm. You are an alchemist, a magician, an angel and can heal the world.

Remember my tips on loving- angel style and you too can be an earth angel. Spread your angels wings and ride the angelic wave of love. When you trip and fall just get yourself back up. I will be waiting for you.

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)

Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation
Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com

 

A Quick Tip To Recharge Your Battery So You Don’t Get Depressed

Imagine if you never needed to recharge your battery? Imagine if everything you did filled up your tea cup so you were never left feeling exhausted, sad or empty in any way? Your friends and family nourished you, your work inspired you, your mate complemented you, your surroundings uplifted you and your chores relaxed you. Would this be possible? Take a few moments, breathe and look at your life…

In my last blog, I spoke about balancing the activities you do with what you receive so you don’t get depressed. In other words, I  was talking about balancing feminine and masculine energies- the energies that allow you to receive with the energies that allow you to do. Chinese philosophy speaks of the yin and the yang where seemingly opposite forces are actually complementary and interconnected. In yoga, the cosmic sound of the Universe “Aum” connects these masculine and feminine energies. The Tao speaks of the action of effortless action- non doing or Wu Wei. In this article, I would like to look at these energies differently.

By replacing the words “Doing” and “Receiving” with the word “Sharing” you may gain a new inclusive and loving perspective to your interactions.  How would your relationships look if you viewed them in the context of each party sharing what they can rather than exchanging something in order to receive something back? Sharing time and resources in a spirit of everyone getting what they need. Perhaps, this would make your relationships appear less transactional and would help you move to that place of unconditional love you may be looking for. There is of course, always an exchange of sorts but the point is to become motivated by something other than getting your needs met. This may be a more conscious replacement to the “what’s in it for me” line that sadly so many live by.

Wouldn’t it be lovely if life would all be about sharing- What would you share?

Under this scenario, you would naturally do your “share” and receive your “share” and no one would be measuring. When you live in a spirit of generosity and love you are not comparing your free time to another person’s or the size of your home to that of your neighbour’s, but you trust that your true needs are always met. It may very well be that focusing more on simply “sharing”  rather than “giving” and “receiving” may alleviate some of the heaviness you may experience from time to time and keep your battery from running on empty.

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)

Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation
Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com

3 Steps to Manage Emotional Ups and Downs Without Getting Depressed

People are suffering. They love the ups of life but don’t love the downs. Those with busy careers are “depressed” as they fight burn out and juggle too many demands. Those retired or unemployed  are equally “depressed” as they feel useless in a culture that values youth, enthusiasm and energy. Those with lavish lifestyles are “depressed” because they always want more and then those with less are “depressed” because they feel left behind. The list goes on and on. The point is depression is today’s pandemic.                                                                                                                                                                                         Of course, I am not talking about severe cases that require medication and the expertise of a health professional but rather this general malaise so many are feeling that brings about feelings of numbness, despair and hopelessness that noone wants to talk about.

So let’s get started tackling this vast, complex and important topic. In the first blog of this series  I will share 3 steps to manage these emotional ups and downs.

1. Embrace your ups and your downs. Stop viewing the “ups” as better than the “downs” and view them both as equally important to your health and wellness. Why label the “downs” as “depression” when in fact they are just part of the natural ebb and flow of life. So embrace the “ups” when they happen and then embrace the “downs” when they happen as well. Create space for them, welcome them into your life and feel grateful for being able to feel your emotions. So many people can’t feel anything so the fact that you can feel is a true gift.

2. Redefine how you define your “up” and how  you define your “down”. Already the word “up” sounds more appealing than the word “down”.  Let’s use the analogy of a battery and look at “up” as running the battery and then “down” as recharging the battery. In other words “up” is being active, doing, giving and “down” is resting, replenishing, receiving. Both activity and rest are equally important. If you do too much you will burn out and feel resentment and on the flip side if you receive too much you will feel uninspired, bored and useless.

3. Look at the proportion of time spent expending energy and then time spent building it up                                                                                                                     Is your rest time giving you what you need to recharge your battery? If you are doing a job you hate, surrounding yourself with people who exhaust you or even rob your energy chances are the rest you are getting is not enough. This lack of energy will deplete you to the point of exhaustion. Over time this burnout turns into “depression”.  Perhaps you need to look at shortening your work week or working from home a few days a week, set some new boundaries, hire some help, book a regular weekly massage or go on a holiday retreat….                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Is your activity time using up your energy? If you are sitting at home bored and feeling useless chances are you are not engaged in enough activity. This excess energy will be turned inwards, making you stressed as you regret the past or anxious as you worry about the future. Over time, this too will bring up feelings of depression. Perhaps you need to do some volunteer work, learn a new skill or take up a hobby, do some babysitting  for a friend, become a mentor to someone struggling in your family or community.                                                                                                                                                                         Naturally you have your own unique rhythm and cannot look to your neighbour to see how much rest and how much activity you need to feel balanced. Giving and receiving is a very personal thing and cannot be measured. Time spent doing physical labour or studying for an exam will deplete your energy just as much as a parent emotionally caring for a child or a friend being there for another. You alone have the answer. Go within and connect to the wisdom of your heart that always knows exactly what you need to bring balance and harmony into your life. Take a few minutes today to connect to who you truly are and find that balance you need to ride the waves of life.

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)

Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation
Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com

 

The Fall of Feminine Power and the Rise of the Feminine

I have been thinking a lot about feminism recently. Certainly the movement has come a long way since the Suffragettes of the late 1800’s century, Rosa Parks in the 1950’s, the rise of the career woman in the 1970’s, the stay-at-home dad in the 1990’s and then the recent US presidential loss of Hilary Clinton of course. What does this notion of being a “feminist” mean today and how does this help us connect to who we truly are and to what really matters on a deeper level?

I am concerned that, with the current fashion of feminism, rather than gender inequality lessoning it is simply moving from one power base to another. When we speak of feminine power, we risk falling into the trap where women simply usurp the traditional role of the man and abuses of power remain. Perhaps this is not the initial aim, but over time, the same tactics used to compete and manipulate continue to create the same result and nothing really changes.

Until we stop competing over scarce resources, wasting what we have and yearning for what we don’t, and as long as we continue to focus on materialism at the expense of kindness, compassion and love we will not see an equality in how genders are treated and nor will we see the gap between the haves and the haves-not lessen.

I believe a truly egalitarian  society (and please do not get sidetracked  by communist and socialist idealism here)  will happen with the rise of the feminine rather than the use of feminine power. The feminine is feminine energy that is within each of us. This energy represents the gentle, receptive, allowing, intuitive, non competitive, wisdom heart- centered part of each of us. The masculine, also within each of us, represents the opposing qualities of domination, hierarchical structures, competition, reason and ego head-centered energy. This latter energy has served us well in the past and continues to do so to some extent, and it must be respected. It has however, moved us to a place where we are invited to go “home” 🙂

So close your eyes, connect to your breath and connect to the feminine and to the masculine energies that live within you.

  • Are they in harmony with one another or is one trying to overtake the other?
  • How are they affecting your relationship outside of yourself? at home, work and in your community.
  • Notice any patterns with the way your parents treated each other when you were a child and how you perhaps treated your own children in turn.

Just notice without judging and then let your feminine intuition take over and see what happens….

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)

Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation
Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com
Nicole Rolland- Yoga & Meditation 
New location in Lachine, Montreal starting November 2017

Stick to Your Guns and Share Your Truth

Foreword: Please note that sometimes I preface my opinion with “I believe” and sometimes I do not. Whatever I write or say constitutes part of my world view. My aim is not to convince, merely to share in the hope this may help you formulate your own life view.
All truths lead to the One Great Truth, that we are all Truth.
(Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance).

I get it, it’s not easy to share your truth especially when it goes against popular opinion. When people lack awareness (or consciousness) they are basically living in darkness or what I refer to as the proverbial “hell”. In darkness, one easily gets triggered when contradicted or surprised. Departing from the herd’s group think mentality can make people very uncomfortable.
Think for yourself…
Even if it gets you into trouble, start exploring differing points of view. As parents, we need to let our children do this. When they can do this in the safety of childhood they are given free reign to grow into strong adults.
One only realizes one was living in darkness when one moves into lightness. I can’t help think back to the old me and to my old life. If someone were to have told me that I was living in hell I would have thought them crazy- I had all the obvious constructs of an outwardly “successful” life without the solid foundation of a rich inner connection.
The more easily we share our truth, the more able we are to listen to the truth of others without feeling triggered in anyway. People who lack awareness are living in a right/wrong space. When they hear something that makes them uncomfortable they get angry.
Why get angry?
Why did people get so angry with Jesus’ message? He was killed for it after all…

In Richard Hopper’s book Jesus, Buddha, Krishna & Lao Tsu- parallel sayings, he notes, with a charming sense of humour, the difference in environments in which Jesus and the Buddha were born into.

“What impresses me the most about Jesus as a person who “woke up’ is that he tried to explain his mystical insights to people who didn’t have the slightest idea what he was talking about. The Buddha was fortunate enough to “wake up”in India- the most mystically oriented culture on Earth. When people met him after his enlightenment they would say “Congratulations, we knew you could do it!” When Jesus woke up in first century Palestine, he must have looked around at his situation and thought Uh-oh!”
Luckily this did not deter Jesus from spreading his message of love, compassion and forgiveness.
Hopper continues -“certainly Jesus could have kept his new mystical understanding of reality to himself. Had he done so-had he just enjoyed his private bliss in the Kingdom of God- he might have lived to a ripe old age, and died a peaceful death like the historical Buddha. But Jesus was passionate and felt compelled to share his wisdom with as many other people he could reach. This meant that he had no choice but to try to explain himself within the doctrinal and social confines of a religious culture that was completely unfamiliar with, and most antagonistic to, mystical insights about reality.”
What if Jesus or others like him did not share their mystical insights with the world? What if YOU keep your insights bottled inside?
Hopper on community support-
“While Siddartha Gautama was supported by a community of mystics, many of those who Jesus talked to thought he was crazy, or blasphemous or both. His own family rejected him and thought him demented. Most of Jesus’ disciples while obviously charmed by his charisma, often didn’t understand what he was talking about. In the end, one of them betrayed him, another denied him, and the rest deserted him in his greatest hour of need. “
Was Jesus’ message “wrong” because others did not understand him and felt compelled to prosecute him? Did Jesus make a mistake by teaching about love and freedom?
Breathe, Relax, Feel, Watch and Allow….transformation within and around you!
Namaste,
Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)

Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation
T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com
Nicole Rolland- Yoga & Meditation 
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Montreal, QC, H3A 1Y7, Canada