How to live your yoga rather than someone else’s so you can cultivate a deeper relationship with your spirit.

highway with a quote by Adrienne Maree Brown

Many look to the on-the-mat practice of yoga to lead deeper and more meaningful lives with their spirit, but yet cling to mainstream structures and limiting beliefs that prevent them from achieving this very goal. Taking yoga classes, joining a studio, getting certified as a yoga teacher or going on a retreat are all great places to start, but they do not need to end there. In the same vein, following rules and norms that make no sense to you in other off-the-mat realms of your life, will prevent you from going deep. Here are 3 ways to help you do this so you can live your own yoga rather than someone else’s, whether you keep your yoga on-the-mat or take it out into the world.

1.Try not to judge yourself or others

Both on-the-mat yoga and off-the-mat yoga (aka life) is often more about appearances rather than processes. Appearances judge and processes feel. Are you saying the “right” words, thinking the “right” thoughts and taking the “right” actions that others will “approve” of, rather than risking doing something “wrong” that may feel better to you. It often becomes more about pleasing others and doing what others expect rather than following your own inner compass.

Notice what comes up for you when you encounter a challenging pose or alternatively when you find ease where others don’t. How do you react when you come into contact with a hostile person, uncomfortable situation, receive criticism or face negativity?

This often boils down to how you manage your ego. Is it inflated or deflated? When the ego is inflated it encourages you to feel superior to others and when it’s deflated it pushes you to feel inferior. Whether Inflated or deflated, the ego compares and enslaves you in judgments. A balanced ego knows its place, sitting peacefully in the back seat, with your will driving the car and your inner wisdom gently guiding you in the passenger seat.

The invitation is to heal your ego. For more, read Chapter 3 on the Ego Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to living a Life of Joy, Meaning, & Abundance.

You are not what you do, what you have, what others think or your physical body.

2. Show vulnerability

When we pretend to be perfect it is impossible to actually remember that we are already perfect. We are perfect when we are loving, kind and compassionate, but we are also perfect when we make mistakes, cry, get angry, feel resentful or even hurt others. I have discovered that most people do not wish to harm anyone and only do so when they are wounded, afraid or have not been exposed to love and compassion.

Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but rather a sign of strength. It takes strength to show your fears and only when theses shadows are brought into the light can they be healed. If you are committed to deepening your connection with your spirit and do not wish to fall prey to spiritual bypassing, this will need to be done at some point- you can choose the easy way or the hard way.

The invitation here is to heal your shadows. For more, read Chapter 3 on Shadows in Stepping into Consciousness- A guide to living a Life of Joy, Meaning, & Abundance.

3. Tap into your own truth

As long as you look to others for truth you will not able able to connect to your spirit at a deeper level. Learning to make that leap from “student/ teacher” mindset to a “teaching student” mindset will help the process. We are all students and teachers, alternating between these roles. At times we learn from others, at times we teach others, and sometimes we learn as we teach and teach as we learn. I believe it’s important to get out of the “teacher knows best” mindset that really only fosters wounded patriarchal structures.

The invitation here is to discover your truth. For more, read Chapter 6 in my book Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to live a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance.

Conclusion

When you live your own yoga you no longer define yourself on-the-mat by the type of yoga you teach or practice, the teachers you follow or the philosophy you prescribe to. Consequently, in life, off-the-mat, you no longer define yourself by the work you do, the people you surround yourself with or the beliefs you hold. You see each of these as fluid and you dip into and out of each as you craft your ever changing truth until you discover the one great truth that you are Truth.

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance” . Order her book through her website or directly through Amazon.

You can visit her anytime at Nicole Rolland Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness (NRYM) www.nicolerolland.com to learn more about her classes, programs, mindfulness coaching, as well as, her blogs, podcasts and other healing tips to help you experience and remember the wholeness and perfection you are.

The Path to Unconditional Love- Where to start?

Where to start? How to begin the journey towards unconditional love?

Pop Up Yoga in Montreal this June

4 weeks to come home and start loving yourself unconditionally so you can connect to who you truly are and to what matters to you. Step into your magical self when you shed the limiting beliefs holding you back.

Week 1: You are not what you do- your job, the many roles you play in your life …

Week 2: You are not what you have- your possessions, network of people that you surround yourself with …

Week 3: You are not what people think of you – your reputation, status, stereotypes, gossip, judgments…

Week 4: You are not your physical body – your age, your gender, your sexual orientation, your talents, your skills, your DNA, genes, your health, your beauty, intelligence, athleticism….

When you realize your true self can never be defined by these that do not last, you will be better positioned to handle life transitions and losses with the wisdom that will carry you through whatever comes your way. This is the path to loving yourself and others unconditionally.

Pop Up Yoga on Thursdays

Thursday June 6, 13, 20 and 27

12.30 – 1.30pm

Maison Martin: 2175 Rue de la Montagne, Montreal

Bring your own yoga mat and props

Choose your Pop Up Drop In Token ($20)

Choose your First Class Pop Up Special ($10)

Use your existing class card

Am happy to welcome you to one class or enjoy the whole series.

Namaste,

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance” . 

You can visit her anytime at Nicole Rolland Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness (NRYM) www.nicolerolland.com to learn more about her classes, programs, mindfulness coaching, as well as, her blogs, podcasts and other healing tips to help you experience and remember the wholeness and perfection you are.

www.nicolerolland.com

Financial worries? How to climb out of fear and start trusting life.

women looking worried and scared clasping her hands to her mouth

Are you worried about your financial security? Do you fret about not getting your fair share? Have you perhaps noticed a growing disparity between those struggling financially and those who seem to have access to a bottomless pit of resources? Are you exhausted keeping up or perhaps discouraged that you can’t? Are you yearning for less complexity and more simplicity? If this sounds familiar, I offer five tips to help you climb out of fear and start trusting life.

1.Stay connected to your inner guidance

Fear is internal and comes from a place of judgment, comparison and limiting beliefs, whereas trust comes from a deeper place within you that only knows love and peace. Trust connects you to your inner guidance and it’s this inner guidance that steers you away from disaster and potential harm, as long as you let it do its job. We get into trouble when we shut down, close off and stop listening and watching.

So close your eyes, connect to your breath and bring your awareness to that part of who you truly are and to what really matters to you…

Trust life by keeping your eyes and ears open

2. Appreciate what you already have

Always looking for more, bigger and better sends a message that what you have is not enough…that you perhaps are not enough. Choose to nourish what you have and allow it to grow. When you ignore what is there and chase after something new, what you have will eventually dissolve. This does not mean you ignore opportunities, it just means you make sure your existing garden is well cared for before you plant a new one.

Trust life by taking care of what you have first

So close your eyes, connect to your breath and look at what you have and appreciate it all.

3. Connect to what you love to do

It’s difficult to connect to what you love when you don’t know what it is. Many are conditioned to love money rather that what truly nourishes them on a soul level. This boils down to connecting to your inner self first before looking outside. I have noticed that some feel guilty when they indulge in something they love, believing instead that life needs to be about struggle while others are too afraid to take a risk and prefer to stay in their comfort zone doing what they have always done. Imagine if everyone, followed their hearts and devoted time and resources doing what they loved? When you follow your heart, the universe supports you.

Trust life by listening to your heart

So close your eyes, connect to your breath and bring your awareness to what you love to do. What makes you feel complete and whole?

4. Embrace your vulnerability

As I discuss in my book “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance” everybody is vulnerable on some level and much energy is wasted pretending they aren’t. No amount of influence, power or money will protect you against a natural disaster that strikes out of nowhere, a freak accident, a mystery illness or a trusted confidante that suddenly turns on you. When you can accept that you, like everyone, are vulnerable and “bad” things do happen in life (and that’s ok), you can use your precious energy to live life rather than protecting yourself.

Trust life by accepting all parts of it- the good, the bad, the ugly

So close your eyes, connect to your breath and bring your awareness to your fears and what you do to protect yourself.

5. Open yourself to the world

When you can open yourself to the wider family of man and to the world, rather than hide behind your loved ones, your group of friends or otherwise inner circle, you send a message that you trust life. Treat your neighbour’s children as you would your own, an acquaintance as your best friend, a stranger as a cherished friend. This does not mean you invite strangers into your home or stay up all night caring for a stranger’s child, ignore your responsibilities or let go of boundaries, it means that you open your mind to the value of everyone’s life.

Trust life by moving to an “I” and “my” mindset to a “we” and “our” mindset

So close your eyes, connect to your breath and bring your awareness to your loved ones- to your inner circle of family and friends and start to open it up and include others. Notice how wide you can cast your net.

Conclusion

When you trust life you trust that your needs will be met in the face of whatever adversity is thrown your way. You may have moments of doubts, fear and even freak out, but when you come back to your centre you trust that everything will work out just fine. you know that you will always get what you want even if you don’t always know what it is. People suffer because they are conditioned to believe that they need certain things to be happy rather than focus on being who they want to be. The universe works in mysterious ways and as you connect to who you truly are and to what matters to you, you come home to your soul.

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance” . 

You can visit her anytime at Nicole Rolland Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness (NRYM) www.nicolerolland.com to learn more about her classes, programs, mindfulness coaching, as well as, her blogs, podcasts and other healing tips to help you experience and remember the wholeness and perfection you are.

www.nicolerolland.com

Redefining Mental Illness

Narcissus, from Greek mythology, gazing at his reflection in a pond

As I am reminded of the tale of Narcissus, the boy from Greek mythology, who was so in love with his outer beauty that he lost his life to it, I can’t help think of the many people who drown in the illusion of who they they think they are.

Certainly loving oneself for who one truly is, is fantastic but when we love ourselves for our material possessions or accomplishments we easily fall into Narcissus’ trap. Not realizing we are trapped, we easily continue to fuel dysfunctional patriarchal, ego driven structures and mindsets that inevitably lead to more pain and suffering.

Today, I invite you to consider how unhealed narcissism may lead to places where unhealthy people think they are healthy and healthy people think they are unhealthy- perhaps offering a new way to look at mental illness.

Mental health labels

Mental health professionals have created a whole slew of labels to describe people who cannot cope in society. According to UPMC HealthBeat mental illnesses can be categorized into five categories:

  • Anxiety disorders.
  • Mood disorders.
  • Schizophrenia and psychotic disorders.
  • Dementia.
  • Eating disorders.

We are often conditioned to believe that there is something wrong with a person suffering from any of these conditions. Of course, anxiety, mood swings, confusion, forgetfulness and not being able to feed ones body adequately make it difficult to function and contribute to society.

I offer a different perspective. Given the way many people are treated and still segregated today, perhaps we ought to look at those who do not suffer from any of these conditions, as out of balance, rather those who do.

A narcissistic mindset that plunders the earth, and rewards cut throat competition, unfair distribution of resources, abuses of power, lack of empathy, stealing, cheating and lying may very well give rise to a “healthy” person losing all sense of clear thinking.

Let’s take a closer look at how patriarchal pillars that have become toxic may lead to confusion over what it means to be truly healthy and well.

Controlling

Patriarchal structures and mindsets that have become toxic seek to control what people think, do and say. Countless examples of this are found in many of the judicial, legal, corporate, educational, government and medical institutions still standing. Is someone truly healthy when they control people and events, or are controlled in return?

Close your eyes, connect to your breath and bring your awareness to how and why you personally collude with these controlling structures and mindsets. How and why do you control or are in turn controlled at home, at work, socially with your friends and in society? Notice what comes up for you….

Hierarchical

Patriarchal structures and mindsets that have become toxic fuel a sense that certain people or groups of people are more deserving of resources than others. Countless examples are seen today where certain professions, countries, talents and skills are more valued than others. Is someone truly healthy when they accept that certain people are more deserving of having basic needs for food, shelter, safety, respect and kindness met while others are not?

Close your eyes, connect to your breath and bring your awareness to how and why you personally collude with these hierarchical structures and mindsets. How and why do you support hierarchies at home, at work, socially with your friends and in society? Notice what comes up for you….

Competition

Patriarchal structures and mindsets that have become toxic feed into behaviour that supports deceitful behaviour and the wearing of the false mask to meet goals. Think of the student who cheats in an exam, the aspiring social climber who hides his true thoughts to be accepted into a group, the athlete who takes drugs to win a race, the ambitious employee who discredits a fellow colleague to win a promotion… Is someone truly healthy when they do, and are encouraged to do, whatever they can to get what they want just because they can get away with it?

Close your eyes, connect to your breath and bring your awareness to how and why you personally collude with these competitive structures and mindsets. How and why do you compete at home, at work, socially with your friends and in society? Notice what comes up for you….

Conclusion

Dysfunctional patriarchal systems create a divided society. As more and more people come into balance and heal what they need to heal, there is certainly a good argument to be made that these traditional structures, support and are perhaps even the cause of much of craziness, confusion and may I even suggest “mental illness” in the world. The invitation is to rediscover the light in these patriarchal structures so they can continue to offer the needed structure without squashing the human spirit.

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance” . 

You can visit her anytime at Nicole Rolland Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness (NRYM) www.nicolerolland.com to learn more about her classes, programs, mindfulness coaching, as well as, her blogs, podcasts and other healing tips to help you experience and remember the wholeness and perfection you are.

www.nicolerolland.com

What you need to know about stopping narcissistic abuse in the work place

A business man's hands manipulating a string puppet

In my last blog How to protect yourself against emotional, mental and financial abuse in marriage I discussed narcissistic abuse in the context of marriage or in a relationship with your significant other. Today, I would like to continue the discussion with respect to the workplace where emotional, mental and financial abuse can run a mock as well. How do you stop narcissistic abuse when you believe your boss, your employee, a subordinate, a colleague or even a client is engaging in abusive narcissistic tactics?

All abuse relates to misuses of energy and losses of power. The abuser takes energy from another and the abused allows the energy to be taken on some level. As a result, power is lost and equilibrium is looking to be re-established. The work environment is ripe territory for this to happen as power relationships are unequal and often unstable. Employees want to keep their jobs, employers want to hold on to their staff while keeping them motivated and productive, companies want to satisfy their clients while making a profit, and colleagues want to get along with each other. Generally speaking most people want to avoid conflict and are reluctant to rock the boat.

Identify where, why and how you are losing power

The first step to stop the abuse is to look at the power you are losing. Here the point is to build awareness of your energy and how the energy drainage is affecting you without judging or trying to fix the situation.

  • Where is it happening? With whom …
  • Why is it happening? What unmet needs are at play for both so called “abuser” and “abused” : Needs for recognition, to be liked, to stand out, to get promoted, to get job done, to stay under the radar, to make enough money to give you the freedom you are seeking, to be profitable….
  • How is it happening? What strategies are being used: triangulation, gazlighting or silencing?

Narcissistic abuse is all about taking someone’s energy to boost their own power rather than learning to cultivate, manage and grow it themselves. This can be done by using narcissistic weapons of triangulation, gaz lighting and silencing . To learn more about power you may like to refer to chapter four “Embracing and Growing Power” in my book Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning and Abundance.

Close your eyes, connect to your breath…Bring your awareness to how you are losing your power: Working too many hours, not being paid a fair wage, surrounded by uncommitted staff, being taken advantage of by your employees, being belittled, criticized, facing too many demands at work, not having the needed resources/training to do your job, not understanding your job, not having a safe, clean environment to work in…

Take responsibility

If you are losing your power you are allowing this to happen on some level. Notice what fears are controlling you and permitting the abuse, without judging or trying to fix anything. Are you worried about losing your job, not getting that promotion you want, being short staffed, not being liked or admired, not wanting to complain or rock the boat, not getting the job done. Compare these fears with needs that you outlined earlier.

Close your eyes and bring your awareness to these fears and notice whether or not these fears are creating the situation and if they are a result of any unmet needs outlined earlier. Notice anything else that comes up for you.

Take action

Taking action always starts with accepting the situation as is. Once you have a clear picture of how you are colluding with the behaviour and notice the tactics being used, you can gain a new perspective on the situation. You suddenly move out of victimhood and realize you have a lot more power to reclaim your energy and restore equilibrium within your energetic system. Sometimes the awareness will cause the shift you need, sometimes the awareness will need to move to acceptance and sometimes more drastic action will need to be taken to resolve the conflict. The goal is always to honour both parties and find win/win solutions rather than pointing fingers, punishing or getting rid of the problem which will simply perpetuate a narcissistic culture at work.

Conclusion

When you work towards stopping narcissistic abuse at work or in any area of your life, you are really healing your own narcissism which is simply the shame you hold where you do not accept yourself for the perfection you are, as well as, any associated fears and judgment that go along with denying your true nature. Yoga, meditation and mindfulness practices help you heal your narcissism by building awareness of your body, mind and spirit so you can connect to who you truly are and to what really matters.

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance” . 

You can visit her anytime at Nicole Rolland Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness (NRYM) www.nicolerolland.com to learn more about her classes, programs, mindfulness coaching, as well as, her blogs, podcasts and other healing tips to help you experience and remember the wholeness and perfection you are.

www.nicolerolland.com

How to protect yourself against emotional, mental and financial abuse in marriage

miniature couple sitting on a heart

If you are in any kind of relationship with a narcissist, the risk of losing your power to emotional, mental and financial abuse is great. To learn more about how shame, silencing, fear and judgment fuel narcissism you may want to go back to my blogs What is the root cause of narcissism and what can you do about it, and How to stop narcissistic silencing so you can start listening. The point is not to shame anyone for being a narcissist or try to eradicate it as a “necessary evil” as that will just reinforce it, but rather to build awareness of how you manage your energy and the energy of those around you. All too often we end up losing so much more than we bargained for and become diminished as a result. In the context of marriage or a relationship with your significant other, narcissism can lead to devastating results- emotionally, mentally and financially.

Narcissistic abuse happens between partners when one of the partner takes more energy from the other than the other has to give. No one is to blame and it is everyone’s responsibility to manage their own energy- again, please stay away from shaming anyone- your partner or yourself. Because narcissists have so much unhealed shame, they believe that the only way they can increase their power is by taking it from others. They do not see that they have the ability to manage and grow their own power. As a result they play dirty: they can lie, make their opponent question their sanity, silence, belittle, discredit, isolate and triangulate to list some examples of tactics they use to empower themselves at someone else’s expense.

Who is at risk ?

If you are fully enmeshed in a narcissistic marriage, you and your partner are embroiled in tit for tat power struggles: your partner criticizes you, you criticize in return, she steals your money so you steal hers, she makes fun of you so you make fun of her, he has an affair so you have one….Society reinforces and even rewards this with the limiting beliefs and lies we tell ourselves: it’s ok to have an affair- everyone has them, I am entitled to more of our joint assets because I make more money than you, If I am paid more I am worth more, your contribution is less important than mine….

Close your eyes, connect to your breath and bring your awareness to how you engage in power struggles with your partner…

Narcissists need to feel needed

Because narcissists are so disconnected from their true nature, they need to feel important in relation to others. They will make others needy so that they are needed. As a consequence, they create dependency relationships with their partners, children, parents, employees, colleagues. Whenever there is any kind of dependence, the risk for abuse is great: dependence for money, security, friends, affection, status, recognition… As long as you associate these with your identity you will do whatever you can to amass more money, security, friends, affection, status, recognition… to ensure your survival.

Close your eyes, connect to your breath and ask yourself what you believe you absolutely need to survive in this world? Notice what comes up…Who would you be if you lost this? What would happen if you lost it?

Narcissistic abuse in marriage

Narcissistic relationships foster inequality where one partner is entitled to more of the resources than the other, competition where partners compete over their share of the available resources, division where partners seek to isolate the other with a divide and conquer mindset and control by controlling their domain of influence ie. money, children, home, friends…This inevitably leads to emotional, mental and financial abuse.

  • Emotional Abuse: When there is a limiting belief that one partner’s needs are more important than the other’s so it’s ok to have affairs, isolate, reward and punish.
  • Mental Abuse: When there is a limiting belief that one partner’s thoughts are more valid than the other’s so it’s ok to belittle and make fun of, engage in gossip, lies and triangulation.
  • Financial Abuse: When there is a limiting belief that one partner is entitled to a larger portion of the financial resources so it’s ok to make unilateral financial decisions and not show transparency.

How to protect yourself

  1. Identify the pattern and take responsibility. If you are married to a full blown narcissistic you obviously attracted it in the first place and gave permission to the dynamic- you no longer need to perpetuate the pattern.
  2. Take charge of the situation Emotionally: Manage your emotions, go after your dreams and do what you love. Mentally: Regain power over your mind and thoughts. Seek professional help to discover your truth and establish your boundaries. Financially: Regain power over your finances by taking back half of your joint assets and building your own wealth. Get legal, accounting, as well as financial planning advice.
  3. Take action: Once you have established the presence of abuse, you are then well positioned to decide to stay and work at the relationship or cut ties. This all depends on whether you and your partner together decide to heal from narcissism. If one partner wishes to heal from narcissism and the other doesn’t it is impossible, in my opinion, to remain in loving partnership. If this is the case the one who wishes to heal from narcissism needs to unplug as quickly as possible. If neither wishes to heal, I believe you can work together to set new boundaries, find compromises, and continue to bargain and barter power to maintain a semblance of equilibrium. If both partners wish to heal, this to me is the perfect opportunity to help each other reach their greatest potential and may even be the reason why you were attracted to each other in the first place.

Conclusion

As you begin to connect to who you are and are looking for ways to manage your own energy without needing to take it away from someone else, your narcissistic tendencies will slowly melt away. You will then gravitate less and less to narcissistic people and will become more and more self sufficient. In turn, I believe the narcissistic institutions of old will be replaced by more caring government that cares for all its people, compassionate legal system that focuses on rehabilitation rather than punishment, intelligent education that rewards learning rather than results and prestige, wise financial counsel that highlights equitable distribution and possibility for greater wealth for those who wish it, holistic health care that integrates body, mind and spirit. Learn more about how my principles of OTFG together with a daily yoga, meditation and mindfulness practice will help get you there so you can help others get there too.

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance” . 

You can visit her anytime at Nicole Rolland Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness (NRYM) www.nicolerolland.com to learn more about her classes, programs, mindfulness coaching, as well as, her blogs, podcasts and other healing tips to help you experience and remember the wholeness and perfection you are.

www.nicolerolland.com

How To Use Humour To Overcome Self Sabotage And Create Positive Growth

man on a branch cutting himself from tree

Have you ever done something you regretted? Perhaps said something to a friend that you felt badly about, did something that hurt someone, thought an unloving thought that you know does not serve you well, or perhaps you unknowingly shot yourself in the foot? These are all ways you can sabotage your goals. Though laughter is often the last thing that comes to mind when this happens, finding that place of humour is often an effective way to remove the bullet and heal the foot. So let’s get playful and look at how you can use humour to overcome self sabotage and create positive growth.

Note: A wounded foot will probably not kill you, bullets can usually be removed and feet can heal.

Find a scapegoat

Get playful and forget the rule of taking responsibility (just this once!) and blame whatever you did on a scapegoat. The scapegoats I invite you to explore hark back to medieval imagery of the proverbial quirky devil on your right shoulder and the peaceful angel on your left, each vying for your attention.

Close your eyes, connect to your breath and imagine those adorable characters hovering around you. What do they look like? What are they doing? ….

Recognizing your devil

The devil, in whatever guise, will try to fool you for sure -That is what he does. He is a trickster and often pretends to be an angel, looking out for your best interests. Whatever tactic he chooses, your little devil barters fear and mischief to gain power. He speaks the language of the narcissistic and embodies the ego. He lifts you up only to tear you down. He keeps you trapped in doubt, judgment and conditions as he alternately bolsters and deflates your confidence. He is a teacher, a task master, a rescuer and, also a helper. However challenging he makes your life, he will help you grow if you allow him to.

Recognizing your angel

Your angel on the other hand, is not as loud or flamboyant so she is not always easy to hear. Your angel loves you unconditionally- that is what she does. She sees your light and wants you to shine. Your little angel deals in trust, forgiveness and gratitude. She speaks the language of the heart and embodies your wisdom. She looks for balance and will guide you back to center when you have gone too far to the right or too far to the left. She wants you to be curious and embrace your sense of wonder. When you fall, she gently holds you so you can pick yourself up. She is a guide, a motivator, a holder of space and helps you fly.

That devil in your life can spice up a seemingly hum drum life, but too much may keep you trapped behind steel bars. By the same token, that angel in your life keeps you connected to your true nature, but too much may keep you locked behind glistening bars. Accept your devil as part of who you are and he will keep you lively company. Accept your angel as a part of who you are and she will offer you sweet ground to walk on from which to reach up to the stars.

Use humour and play with imagery to help you move past challenging situations and see the funny side of life. So take a risk and maybe you will occasionally shoot yourself in the foot, but with a dash of angelic salt and a sprinkle of devilish pepper and a hearty dose of laughter you can overcome anything that comes your way.

To learn more about these funny characters and get additional healing tips visit the blog section of my website where I share complementary info on the blogs you read here.

Have fun with those devilish angels of yours…

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance” . 

You can visit her anytime at Nicole Rolland Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness (NRYM) to learn more about her classes, programs, mindfulness coaching, as well as, her blogs, podcasts and other healing tips to help you experience and remember the wholeness and perfection you are.

www.nicolerolland.com

Five Tips To Enjoy Mindfulness Intimacy With Your Love Partner

Close-up of couple’s feet at luxury resort

February and Valentine’s day go together like two peas in a pod and are the perfect opportunity to discuss topics of Romance and Love- Mindful style. Together these move you to experience sacred love that connects you with your inner divinity. If you are into mindful living this is definitely the type of intimacy you want to enjoy with your lover.  


Here are my five tips to make your intimacy more mindful.

1.Release expectations. Mindful intimacy is all about enjoying the moment without looking to what’s next or what happened before. Focus on the journey and not the destination. When you can cultivate the discipline to focus on today and love what is without expectations, what happens down the road can never disappoint you.

2. Remove Judgment:Mindful intimacy is about practicing non judgmental awareness. Judgment happens in the head and mindfulness happens in the heart. You may be addicted to living in a transactional society so love that does not come with conditions may seem hard to believe in. The heart feels so if your love feels right go with it and enjoy the moment, even if it does not make complete sense in your head. If you truly are in your heart, it will eventually.


3. Transparency:  Mindful intimacy is about being open about who you love. If there is a need to keep the relationship hidden from your parents, children, friends, partner or other, you may like to rethink your relationship until conditions allow for transparency. Any worry will prevent you from being present. Be open about the relationship and private about the rest.


3. Sensual: Mindful intimacy is about engaging all seven senses so choosing the right sounds, textures, scents, food and drink, decor to encourage the gradual building of heat. Don’t forget about the sixth and seventh senses – your sense of intuition and oneness, these are key to finding the right partner to experience the divine with.  I discuss these senses in Chapter Six of my book Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to living a Life of Joy, meaning & Abundance.


4. Simplicity: Like all things mindful, Mindful intimacy is all about keeping it simple. Simplicity helps you live in the present moment by removing stimuli that can distract, worry or make you anxious. 

And of course, don’t be shy about using your favourite essential oils- a few drops in your bathtub, massage oil or in your candle. Here are my five top Essential Oils for Lovers of Romance: Cinnamon, Ylang Ylang, Cardamon, Clove and Passion that you can get from my essential oil shop.

Release Expectations, Remove Judgment, Be Transparent, Tap into your Senses and Keep it simple so you can enjoy mindfulness in your intimate relationships, as well as, all your relationships. When you focus on loving what is, in the here and now, regardless of what happened yesterday or may happen tomorrow nothing can take away from the love you are feeling right now.

Enjoy the love!

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
www.nicolerolland.com


How To Stop Narcissistic Silencing So You Can Start Listening

Do you ever feel silenced or notice that you are silencing someone else? Being silenced, in any form, is never a pleasant feeling. By the same token, listening to a truth that makes you uncomfortable is equally unpleasant. A truth feels good if it’s one you agree with and live by. However it feels less good when it ruffles your feathers. Though the need to silence is a legitimate one and I get that, having experienced being silenced myself, as well as, silencing others, silencing is not a loving thing to do. I offer some tips on how to stop the silencing cycle so you can start listening and move into your heart.

What does it mean to silence others?

Silencing to me is all about not listening to a truth and preventing someone (including yourself) from sharing the perfection of their true nature. Humans are meant to shine so when they are prevented from shining (or preventing themselves) from shining they are being silenced. To shine of course means different things to different people. Take a few minutes and bring your awareness to how you like to sparkle? What do you do that makes you glow with the radiance that you are? Breathe…and notice what comes up for you.

I see that all truths are part of the one great Truth that we are Truth. I discuss this more fully in Chapter Six “Discovering and Living Our Truth” of Stepping into Consciousness- A guide to living a Life of Joy, Meaning, & Abundance so in effect all truths are equal. If this is something that resonates with you and you are curious about expanding your consciousness to the frequency of love you may want to get a copy of my book .

Get Your Copy Here

Silencing is also a narcissistic tactic used to uphold a truth as being right rather than wrong. Narcissistic behaviour is fearful and distrustful. It fears being wrong, made fun of, isolated, making a mistake… When you question the motive behind a truth being shared or the authority of the person sharing a truth, as if some people have a right to share truths and others don’t, you are choosing a narcissistic viewpoint.  I believe that if you are committed to living from the heart you absolutely need to get over this limiting belief. To learn more about my views on narcissism you may want to go back to my previous blog What Is The Root Cause Of Narcissism And What Can You Do About It?

As a self protective mechanism, silencing can also protect you from truths that are painful or that you are just not ready to hear. There are countless examples that demonstrate this point. For instance, the world was not ready for Galileo’s truth that the world was round so he was silenced, Germany did not have the courage to silence Hitler but Hitler was all too eager to silence others. Leaders and followers of all kind continue to silence others by ignoring, threatening, punishing, hurting, excluding, insulting, with holding favour, not taking responsibility, playing “dumb”…

How have you been silenced? How have you silenced others?

The Silencing Cycle

Living in Fear and Judgment……>Silencing….Not accepting the Truth of who you are….>Living in Fear and Judgment…

Bring your awareness to how you collude with this cycle in your various interactions and notice what comes up for you:

  • At home: with your partner, siblings, parents, children…
  • At work: with your colleagues, boss, employees, clients, competitors…
  • Socially: with your friends, your acquaintances…
  • Out in the world: with strangers, social media, the internet, professionals, institutions…

Now bring your awareness to how you could stop colluding with this cycle by adopting the following principles of living from the heart:

  • Practice non judgmental awareness rather than judgment
  • Practise OTFG: Openness, Trust, Forgiveness and Gratitude
  • Accept yourself as whole and perfect
  • Be guided by your soul rather than your ego
  • Bring in qualities of allowing, letting go, unity, equality and cooperation

and notice what comes up now for you…

Much love and gratitude,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
www.nicolerolland.com

You Are Not A Robot- How to avoid becoming swallowed up by technology

I don’t know about you but sometimes I fear technology is trying to take over the world and turn us into robotic versions of who we truly are. It almost feels like we are on the brink of  WWIII- Humans against robots. You no doubt, like myself, appreciate all the conveniences of our modern world and may worry that you are becoming too dependent on technology.

Perhaps, you also notice how the world around you is becoming increasingly automated. You may wonder how you or the next generation will be able to effectively compete against artificial intelligence. You may even believe that you need to become more and more robotic to have a secure place in society.

If, like me, you value being human and are looking for ways to prevent yourself from becoming sucked into a robotic way of being, here are five tips to prevent you from becoming swallowed up into the vortex of technology.

1.Keep your vibration high

Spending time in nature is the most important thing you can do to mitigate the harmful effects that technology may have on your body/mind and spirit. It re-calibrates your vibration to the frequency of nature. The more time you spend on your phone and the internet the more you attune yourself to the frequency of man-made technology. To learn more about raising your rate of vibration you may want to read Power vs Force by David R. Hawkins M.D. Ph.D.

Other ways to keep your vibration up for example, include following your passion and tapping into your own well of creativity, practicing heart-based yoga, chanting high frequency mantras, listening to music…. If you need an extra boost, try getting a healing massage or receiving energy work such as Reiki, Sound Healing or Cranio-Sacral. To Learn more about rates of vibration you may also want to read Chapter 2 “Understanding and living the universal principles “of Stepping into Consciousness- a Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance.

2. Awaken your 7 senses

I believe that the combination of aging, societal norms and life experience numb the senses. For instance notice how with age, senses seem to need an extra boost to do their job: salt and flavour enhancers are added to food, chemicals to scents, noise to sound, synthetic fibers to natural coverings and make up to natural beauty. You may not even trust your own intuition because you are so used to relying on outside gurus rather than your inner truth. Even the sense of oneness that you came into the world with, when you were connected to your mother and the world through her, often gets forgotten and needs to be remembered. To learn more about my teachings on the process of ascension of the seven senses, you may be interested in chapter 6 “Discovering and Living our truth” of Stepping into Consciousness- a Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance

Once you start to smell, taste, feel, hear and see vividly through these five primary senses you can then sense with your heart and soul your interconnectedness with the world around you. This enables you to preserve the human qualities that make you human rather than robotic. No need to look, speak or think like a robot.

3. Show affection and share true feelings

Only once you have re-awoken your seven senses can you feel comfortable showing real affection and sharing true feelings. Perhaps you already do this within the confines of your circle of loved ones but cannot fully open up to the love around you. This is normal, you have no doubt tried and been hurt in the past. It is imperative that you try again, take baby steps and remember everyone is in the same boat. Until this happens you will continue to live in fear about embarrassing yourself, being made fun of, being judged as weak, negative or whatever prevents you from showing up as “you”.

Real strength comes from sharing who you truly are, not by wearing a strong mask glued on with crazy glue or erecting fortifying walls around your heart. Having a positive outlook has little to do with saying positive things but more about being honest and accepting of what is.

4. Show vulnerability to heal shame

You are vulnerable on many levels, regardless of how many “resources” you think you have at your disposal. You can get sick, have an accident, get hurt, taken advantage of, or get caught in a natural disaster at any moment, just like anyone. Placing your attention on what doesn’t last rather than on what does – the perfection of your very soul, just makes you all the more vulnerable. When you focus on your perfection, that part of you that is always whole, you become truly invulnerable because you have nothing to fear. Make mistakes, welcome them in and share them with others so mistakes become celebrated as opportunities for growth rather than daggers to reinforce shame.

Learn to be you, not a robot.

5. Spread love where you go and in all you do

As you embody the love that you are, you will naturally spread love to all you meet and in all you do. Don’t neglect spreading love on the internet and using your technology in loving ways. This will influence AI in a positive fashion so the robots you do come into contact with be loving, compassionate and kind ones 🙂 Spread love as much as you can and to the best of your ability. Set your boundaries and protect your energy first and foremost by following my five pillars to spiritual living.

Watch my Five Pillars to spiritual living on my Youtube channel

  • Let go of expectation
  • Manage your ego
  • Face fears
  • Take responsibility
  • Connect to a larger purpose are five ways to help you spread the love that you are in a way that not only makes you and others feel good but that also feeds AI the love it needs to build its own loving intelligence.

Namaste and many blessings to you,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com www.nicolerolland.com