Five Tips To Enjoy Mindfulness Intimacy With Your Love Partner

Close-up of couple’s feet at luxury resort

February and Valentine’s day go together like two peas in a pod and are the perfect opportunity to discuss topics of Romance and Love- Mindful style. Together these move you to experience sacred love that connects you with your inner divinity. If you are into mindful living this is definitely the type of intimacy you want to enjoy with your lover.  


Here are my five tips to make your intimacy more mindful.

1.Release expectations. Mindful intimacy is all about enjoying the moment without looking to what’s next or what happened before. Focus on the journey and not the destination. When you can cultivate the discipline to focus on today and love what is without expectations, what happens down the road can never disappoint you.

2. Remove Judgment:Mindful intimacy is about practicing non judgmental awareness. Judgment happens in the head and mindfulness happens in the heart. You may be addicted to living in a transactional society so love that does not come with conditions may seem hard to believe in. The heart feels so if your love feels right go with it and enjoy the moment, even if it does not make complete sense in your head. If you truly are in your heart, it will eventually.


3. Transparency:  Mindful intimacy is about being open about who you love. If there is a need to keep the relationship hidden from your parents, children, friends, partner or other, you may like to rethink your relationship until conditions allow for transparency. Any worry will prevent you from being present. Be open about the relationship and private about the rest.


3. Sensual: Mindful intimacy is about engaging all seven senses so choosing the right sounds, textures, scents, food and drink, decor to encourage the gradual building of heat. Don’t forget about the sixth and seventh senses – your sense of intuition and oneness, these are key to finding the right partner to experience the divine with.  I discuss these senses in Chapter Six of my book Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to living a Life of Joy, meaning & Abundance.


4. Simplicity: Like all things mindful, Mindful intimacy is all about keeping it simple. Simplicity helps you live in the present moment by removing stimuli that can distract, worry or make you anxious. 

And of course, don’t be shy about using your favourite essential oils- a few drops in your bathtub, massage oil or in your candle. Here are my five top Essential Oils for Lovers of Romance: Cinnamon, Ylang Ylang, Cardamon, Clove and Passion that you can get from my essential oil shop.

Release Expectations, Remove Judgment, Be Transparent, Tap into your Senses and Keep it simple so you can enjoy mindfulness in your intimate relationships, as well as, all your relationships. When you focus on loving what is, in the here and now, regardless of what happened yesterday or may happen tomorrow nothing can take away from the love you are feeling right now.

Enjoy the love!

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
www.nicolerolland.com


How To Step Back So Mindfulness Can Step In

Living mindfully is all about living in the present moment in a place of non judgment and acceptance- this takes time and patience. You cannot expect to achieve this after an evening seminar, a thought provoking book, a weekend workshop, a teacher certification..and no, a trip to India will not bestow enlightened status either.  In fact you cannot be looking for it at all, it just happens gradually, in its own time, guided by an invisible force that leads the way. So, How to step back so mindfulness can step in? Here are 5 tips to help you live more mindfully.

  1. Let go of expectations.  Though every action leads to a reaction, when you let go of expectations you are not placing a hope on a intended reaction. Instead, during interactions, do not think about what you may or may not get out of the exchange or feel that you need to protect/defend your point of you. Simply allow the exchange to unfold. Replace expectation and enjoy the experience.                                                                                                                                                        
  2. Stop judging. A judgment keeps you trapped in duality – right/wrong, good/bad, better/worse. It also keeps you tethered to expectation where you risk disappointment. If you do something better than someone else you will get a higher reward: more money, increased status, a promotion, more friends…  Replace judgment with observations.                                                                                                                              
  3. Step way from consumerism. Consumerism equates with needing more to satisfy the ego. The ego is never satisfied with what is. It pushes you to acquire more so you can feel that you are more somehow.  This does not mean you need to deprive yourself in any way. Instead, choose to fill your heart with gratitude.  Replace needing more with having what you need.                                                                                                  
  4. Embrace contradictions. It makes sense to want clarity. However, the issue arises when clarity pushes you into an “all or nothing” binary mindset. For instance, you can be successful, smart, disciplined, loving in one area of your life and ignorant, weak willed, sneaky and manipulative in another. To  bring polar opposites  of black and white together to create the colour grey accept all parts of your multifaceted self. Replace “all or nothing” thinking with acceptance of all that is.                                                                                                              
  5. Don’t get discouraged.  Give yourself a second, third, fourth, fifth…. chance when you make a mistake. When learning basic skills like reading, writing, and arithmetic  you don’t quit after a setback. You do what is needed to learn to read, write and do your sums so you can function in the world. Learning to live mindfully is a skill that is just as important. When you find yourself giving in to worry and fear, get curious about new ways to move into the here and now present tense. Replace discouragement  with  curiosity.                                                                                                                                                                       ….and then perhaps, the more you can let go of expectations, stop judging, step away from consumerism, embrace contradictions and limit discouragement, you may notice that you are spending more and more time enjoying the present moment without even trying.

Allow yourself to step back so mindfulness can step in

To learn more, join me for my next event in Montreal                                     “How meditation and mindfulness can help”                                                              Info session to learn more about meditation and mindfulness.                            Thursday January 17, 2019                                                                                                       7.30 to 8.30 pm                                                                                                                              2962 Rue Lapierre in Lasalle.                                                                                                  RSVP to reserve your spot Here                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)

Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation
Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com

A Quick Tip To Recharge Your Battery So You Don’t Get Depressed

Imagine if you never needed to recharge your battery? Imagine if everything you did filled up your tea cup so you were never left feeling exhausted, sad or empty in any way? Your friends and family nourished you, your work inspired you, your mate complemented you, your surroundings uplifted you and your chores relaxed you. Would this be possible? Take a few moments, breathe and look at your life…

In my last blog, I spoke about balancing the activities you do with what you receive so you don’t get depressed. In other words, I  was talking about balancing feminine and masculine energies- the energies that allow you to receive with the energies that allow you to do. Chinese philosophy speaks of the yin and the yang where seemingly opposite forces are actually complementary and interconnected. In yoga, the cosmic sound of the Universe “Aum” connects these masculine and feminine energies. The Tao speaks of the action of effortless action- non doing or Wu Wei. In this article, I would like to look at these energies differently.

By replacing the words “Doing” and “Receiving” with the word “Sharing” you may gain a new inclusive and loving perspective to your interactions.  How would your relationships look if you viewed them in the context of each party sharing what they can rather than exchanging something in order to receive something back? Sharing time and resources in a spirit of everyone getting what they need. Perhaps, this would make your relationships appear less transactional and would help you move to that place of unconditional love you may be looking for. There is of course, always an exchange of sorts but the point is to become motivated by something other than getting your needs met. This may be a more conscious replacement to the “what’s in it for me” line that sadly so many live by.

Wouldn’t it be lovely if life would all be about sharing- What would you share?

Under this scenario, you would naturally do your “share” and receive your “share” and no one would be measuring. When you live in a spirit of generosity and love you are not comparing your free time to another person’s or the size of your home to that of your neighbour’s, but you trust that your true needs are always met. It may very well be that focusing more on simply “sharing”  rather than “giving” and “receiving” may alleviate some of the heaviness you may experience from time to time and keep your battery from running on empty.

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)

Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation
Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com

3 Steps to Manage Emotional Ups and Downs Without Getting Depressed

People are suffering. They love the ups of life but don’t love the downs. Those with busy careers are “depressed” as they fight burn out and juggle too many demands. Those retired or unemployed  are equally “depressed” as they feel useless in a culture that values youth, enthusiasm and energy. Those with lavish lifestyles are “depressed” because they always want more and then those with less are “depressed” because they feel left behind. The list goes on and on. The point is depression is today’s pandemic.                                                                                                                                                                                         Of course, I am not talking about severe cases that require medication and the expertise of a health professional but rather this general malaise so many are feeling that brings about feelings of numbness, despair and hopelessness that noone wants to talk about.

So let’s get started tackling this vast, complex and important topic. In the first blog of this series  I will share 3 steps to manage these emotional ups and downs.

1. Embrace your ups and your downs. Stop viewing the “ups” as better than the “downs” and view them both as equally important to your health and wellness. Why label the “downs” as “depression” when in fact they are just part of the natural ebb and flow of life. So embrace the “ups” when they happen and then embrace the “downs” when they happen as well. Create space for them, welcome them into your life and feel grateful for being able to feel your emotions. So many people can’t feel anything so the fact that you can feel is a true gift.

2. Redefine how you define your “up” and how  you define your “down”. Already the word “up” sounds more appealing than the word “down”.  Let’s use the analogy of a battery and look at “up” as running the battery and then “down” as recharging the battery. In other words “up” is being active, doing, giving and “down” is resting, replenishing, receiving. Both activity and rest are equally important. If you do too much you will burn out and feel resentment and on the flip side if you receive too much you will feel uninspired, bored and useless.

3. Look at the proportion of time spent expending energy and then time spent building it up                                                                                                                     Is your rest time giving you what you need to recharge your battery? If you are doing a job you hate, surrounding yourself with people who exhaust you or even rob your energy chances are the rest you are getting is not enough. This lack of energy will deplete you to the point of exhaustion. Over time this burnout turns into “depression”.  Perhaps you need to look at shortening your work week or working from home a few days a week, set some new boundaries, hire some help, book a regular weekly massage or go on a holiday retreat….                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Is your activity time using up your energy? If you are sitting at home bored and feeling useless chances are you are not engaged in enough activity. This excess energy will be turned inwards, making you stressed as you regret the past or anxious as you worry about the future. Over time, this too will bring up feelings of depression. Perhaps you need to do some volunteer work, learn a new skill or take up a hobby, do some babysitting  for a friend, become a mentor to someone struggling in your family or community.                                                                                                                                                                         Naturally you have your own unique rhythm and cannot look to your neighbour to see how much rest and how much activity you need to feel balanced. Giving and receiving is a very personal thing and cannot be measured. Time spent doing physical labour or studying for an exam will deplete your energy just as much as a parent emotionally caring for a child or a friend being there for another. You alone have the answer. Go within and connect to the wisdom of your heart that always knows exactly what you need to bring balance and harmony into your life. Take a few minutes today to connect to who you truly are and find that balance you need to ride the waves of life.

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)

Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation
Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com

 

40 Ways Yoga Heals

According to Yoga as Medicine- The Yogic Prescription for Health and Healing by Timothy McCall, MD there are 40 good reasons to do yoga:

YOGA

  1. Increases Flexibility
  2. Strengthens Muscles
  3. Improves Balance
  4. Improves Immune Function
  5. Improves Posture
  6. Improves Lung Function
  7. Leads to Slower and Deeper Breathing
  8. Discourages Mouth Breathing
  9. Increases Oxygenation of Tissues
  10. Improves Joint Health
  11. Nourishes Intervertebral disks
  12. Improves Return of Venous Blood
  13. Increases Circulation of Lymph
  14. Improves Function of the Feet
  15. Improves Proprioception
  16. Increases Control of Bodily Functions
  17. Strengthens Bones
  18. Conditions the Cardiovascular System
  19. Promotes Weight Loss
  20. Relaxes the Nervous System
  21. Improves the Function of the Nervous System
  22. Improves Brain Function
  23. Activates Left Prefrontal Cortex
  24. Changes Neurotransmitter Levels
  25. Lowers Level of Stress Hormone Cortisol
  26. Lowers Blood Sugar
  27. Lowers Blood Pressure
  28. Improves Level of Cholesterol and Triglycerides
  29. Thins the Blood
  30. Improves Bowel Function
  31. Releases Unconscious Muscle Gripping
  32. Uses Imagery to Effect Change in the Body
  33. Relieves Pain
  34. Lowers Need for Medication
  35. Fosters Healing Relationships
  36. Improves Psychological Health
  37. Leads to Healthier Habits
  38. Fosters Spiritual Growth
  39. Elicits The Placebo Effect
  40. Encourages Involvement in Your Own Healing                                                                                                                                                                 These are all fantastic reasons to do yoga. You may not find the perfect class or the perfect teacher for you the first time around but don’t give up. There is such a huge variety of types of yoga, types of teachers and places that offer yoga that it won’t be very difficult for you to find the right match to suit your style.                                                                                                                                                                            Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM) 

Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation
T (1) 514 824 8510
​info@nicolerolland.com
Nicole Rolland- Yoga & Meditation 
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