The Path to Unconditional Love- Where to start?

Where to start? How to begin the journey towards unconditional love?

Pop Up Yoga in Montreal this June

4 weeks to come home and start loving yourself unconditionally so you can connect to who you truly are and to what matters to you. Step into your magical self when you shed the limiting beliefs holding you back.

Week 1: You are not what you do- your job, the many roles you play in your life …

Week 2: You are not what you have- your possessions, network of people that you surround yourself with …

Week 3: You are not what people think of you – your reputation, status, stereotypes, gossip, judgments…

Week 4: You are not your physical body – your age, your gender, your sexual orientation, your talents, your skills, your DNA, genes, your health, your beauty, intelligence, athleticism….

When you realize your true self can never be defined by these that do not last, you will be better positioned to handle life transitions and losses with the wisdom that will carry you through whatever comes your way. This is the path to loving yourself and others unconditionally.

Pop Up Yoga on Thursdays

Thursday June 6, 13, 20 and 27

12.30 – 1.30pm

Maison Martin: 2175 Rue de la Montagne, Montreal

Bring your own yoga mat and props

Choose your Pop Up Drop In Token ($20)

Choose your First Class Pop Up Special ($10)

Use your existing class card

Am happy to welcome you to one class or enjoy the whole series.

Namaste,

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance” . 

You can visit her anytime at Nicole Rolland Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness (NRYM) www.nicolerolland.com to learn more about her classes, programs, mindfulness coaching, as well as, her blogs, podcasts and other healing tips to help you experience and remember the wholeness and perfection you are.

www.nicolerolland.com

What you need to know about stopping narcissistic abuse in the work place

A business man's hands manipulating a string puppet

In my last blog How to protect yourself against emotional, mental and financial abuse in marriage I discussed narcissistic abuse in the context of marriage or in a relationship with your significant other. Today, I would like to continue the discussion with respect to the workplace where emotional, mental and financial abuse can run a mock as well. How do you stop narcissistic abuse when you believe your boss, your employee, a subordinate, a colleague or even a client is engaging in abusive narcissistic tactics?

All abuse relates to misuses of energy and losses of power. The abuser takes energy from another and the abused allows the energy to be taken on some level. As a result, power is lost and equilibrium is looking to be re-established. The work environment is ripe territory for this to happen as power relationships are unequal and often unstable. Employees want to keep their jobs, employers want to hold on to their staff while keeping them motivated and productive, companies want to satisfy their clients while making a profit, and colleagues want to get along with each other. Generally speaking most people want to avoid conflict and are reluctant to rock the boat.

Identify where, why and how you are losing power

The first step to stop the abuse is to look at the power you are losing. Here the point is to build awareness of your energy and how the energy drainage is affecting you without judging or trying to fix the situation.

  • Where is it happening? With whom …
  • Why is it happening? What unmet needs are at play for both so called “abuser” and “abused” : Needs for recognition, to be liked, to stand out, to get promoted, to get job done, to stay under the radar, to make enough money to give you the freedom you are seeking, to be profitable….
  • How is it happening? What strategies are being used: triangulation, gazlighting or silencing?

Narcissistic abuse is all about taking someone’s energy to boost their own power rather than learning to cultivate, manage and grow it themselves. This can be done by using narcissistic weapons of triangulation, gaz lighting and silencing . To learn more about power you may like to refer to chapter four “Embracing and Growing Power” in my book Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning and Abundance.

Close your eyes, connect to your breath…Bring your awareness to how you are losing your power: Working too many hours, not being paid a fair wage, surrounded by uncommitted staff, being taken advantage of by your employees, being belittled, criticized, facing too many demands at work, not having the needed resources/training to do your job, not understanding your job, not having a safe, clean environment to work in…

Take responsibility

If you are losing your power you are allowing this to happen on some level. Notice what fears are controlling you and permitting the abuse, without judging or trying to fix anything. Are you worried about losing your job, not getting that promotion you want, being short staffed, not being liked or admired, not wanting to complain or rock the boat, not getting the job done. Compare these fears with needs that you outlined earlier.

Close your eyes and bring your awareness to these fears and notice whether or not these fears are creating the situation and if they are a result of any unmet needs outlined earlier. Notice anything else that comes up for you.

Take action

Taking action always starts with accepting the situation as is. Once you have a clear picture of how you are colluding with the behaviour and notice the tactics being used, you can gain a new perspective on the situation. You suddenly move out of victimhood and realize you have a lot more power to reclaim your energy and restore equilibrium within your energetic system. Sometimes the awareness will cause the shift you need, sometimes the awareness will need to move to acceptance and sometimes more drastic action will need to be taken to resolve the conflict. The goal is always to honour both parties and find win/win solutions rather than pointing fingers, punishing or getting rid of the problem which will simply perpetuate a narcissistic culture at work.

Conclusion

When you work towards stopping narcissistic abuse at work or in any area of your life, you are really healing your own narcissism which is simply the shame you hold where you do not accept yourself for the perfection you are, as well as, any associated fears and judgment that go along with denying your true nature. Yoga, meditation and mindfulness practices help you heal your narcissism by building awareness of your body, mind and spirit so you can connect to who you truly are and to what really matters.

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance” . 

You can visit her anytime at Nicole Rolland Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness (NRYM) www.nicolerolland.com to learn more about her classes, programs, mindfulness coaching, as well as, her blogs, podcasts and other healing tips to help you experience and remember the wholeness and perfection you are.

www.nicolerolland.com

How to protect yourself against emotional, mental and financial abuse in marriage

miniature couple sitting on a heart

If you are in any kind of relationship with a narcissist, the risk of losing your power to emotional, mental and financial abuse is great. To learn more about how shame, silencing, fear and judgment fuel narcissism you may want to go back to my blogs What is the root cause of narcissism and what can you do about it, and How to stop narcissistic silencing so you can start listening. The point is not to shame anyone for being a narcissist or try to eradicate it as a “necessary evil” as that will just reinforce it, but rather to build awareness of how you manage your energy and the energy of those around you. All too often we end up losing so much more than we bargained for and become diminished as a result. In the context of marriage or a relationship with your significant other, narcissism can lead to devastating results- emotionally, mentally and financially.

Narcissistic abuse happens between partners when one of the partner takes more energy from the other than the other has to give. No one is to blame and it is everyone’s responsibility to manage their own energy- again, please stay away from shaming anyone- your partner or yourself. Because narcissists have so much unhealed shame, they believe that the only way they can increase their power is by taking it from others. They do not see that they have the ability to manage and grow their own power. As a result they play dirty: they can lie, make their opponent question their sanity, silence, belittle, discredit, isolate and triangulate to list some examples of tactics they use to empower themselves at someone else’s expense.

Who is at risk ?

If you are fully enmeshed in a narcissistic marriage, you and your partner are embroiled in tit for tat power struggles: your partner criticizes you, you criticize in return, she steals your money so you steal hers, she makes fun of you so you make fun of her, he has an affair so you have one….Society reinforces and even rewards this with the limiting beliefs and lies we tell ourselves: it’s ok to have an affair- everyone has them, I am entitled to more of our joint assets because I make more money than you, If I am paid more I am worth more, your contribution is less important than mine….

Close your eyes, connect to your breath and bring your awareness to how you engage in power struggles with your partner…

Narcissists need to feel needed

Because narcissists are so disconnected from their true nature, they need to feel important in relation to others. They will make others needy so that they are needed. As a consequence, they create dependency relationships with their partners, children, parents, employees, colleagues. Whenever there is any kind of dependence, the risk for abuse is great: dependence for money, security, friends, affection, status, recognition… As long as you associate these with your identity you will do whatever you can to amass more money, security, friends, affection, status, recognition… to ensure your survival.

Close your eyes, connect to your breath and ask yourself what you believe you absolutely need to survive in this world? Notice what comes up…Who would you be if you lost this? What would happen if you lost it?

Narcissistic abuse in marriage

Narcissistic relationships foster inequality where one partner is entitled to more of the resources than the other, competition where partners compete over their share of the available resources, division where partners seek to isolate the other with a divide and conquer mindset and control by controlling their domain of influence ie. money, children, home, friends…This inevitably leads to emotional, mental and financial abuse.

  • Emotional Abuse: When there is a limiting belief that one partner’s needs are more important than the other’s so it’s ok to have affairs, isolate, reward and punish.
  • Mental Abuse: When there is a limiting belief that one partner’s thoughts are more valid than the other’s so it’s ok to belittle and make fun of, engage in gossip, lies and triangulation.
  • Financial Abuse: When there is a limiting belief that one partner is entitled to a larger portion of the financial resources so it’s ok to make unilateral financial decisions and not show transparency.

How to protect yourself

  1. Identify the pattern and take responsibility. If you are married to a full blown narcissistic you obviously attracted it in the first place and gave permission to the dynamic- you no longer need to perpetuate the pattern.
  2. Take charge of the situation Emotionally: Manage your emotions, go after your dreams and do what you love. Mentally: Regain power over your mind and thoughts. Seek professional help to discover your truth and establish your boundaries. Financially: Regain power over your finances by taking back half of your joint assets and building your own wealth. Get legal, accounting, as well as financial planning advice.
  3. Take action: Once you have established the presence of abuse, you are then well positioned to decide to stay and work at the relationship or cut ties. This all depends on whether you and your partner together decide to heal from narcissism. If one partner wishes to heal from narcissism and the other doesn’t it is impossible, in my opinion, to remain in loving partnership. If this is the case the one who wishes to heal from narcissism needs to unplug as quickly as possible. If neither wishes to heal, I believe you can work together to set new boundaries, find compromises, and continue to bargain and barter power to maintain a semblance of equilibrium. If both partners wish to heal, this to me is the perfect opportunity to help each other reach their greatest potential and may even be the reason why you were attracted to each other in the first place.

Conclusion

As you begin to connect to who you are and are looking for ways to manage your own energy without needing to take it away from someone else, your narcissistic tendencies will slowly melt away. You will then gravitate less and less to narcissistic people and will become more and more self sufficient. In turn, I believe the narcissistic institutions of old will be replaced by more caring government that cares for all its people, compassionate legal system that focuses on rehabilitation rather than punishment, intelligent education that rewards learning rather than results and prestige, wise financial counsel that highlights equitable distribution and possibility for greater wealth for those who wish it, holistic health care that integrates body, mind and spirit. Learn more about how my principles of OTFG together with a daily yoga, meditation and mindfulness practice will help get you there so you can help others get there too.

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance” . 

You can visit her anytime at Nicole Rolland Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness (NRYM) www.nicolerolland.com to learn more about her classes, programs, mindfulness coaching, as well as, her blogs, podcasts and other healing tips to help you experience and remember the wholeness and perfection you are.

www.nicolerolland.com

How To Use Humour To Overcome Self Sabotage And Create Positive Growth

man on a branch cutting himself from tree

Have you ever done something you regretted? Perhaps said something to a friend that you felt badly about, did something that hurt someone, thought an unloving thought that you know does not serve you well, or perhaps you unknowingly shot yourself in the foot? These are all ways you can sabotage your goals. Though laughter is often the last thing that comes to mind when this happens, finding that place of humour is often an effective way to remove the bullet and heal the foot. So let’s get playful and look at how you can use humour to overcome self sabotage and create positive growth.

Note: A wounded foot will probably not kill you, bullets can usually be removed and feet can heal.

Find a scapegoat

Get playful and forget the rule of taking responsibility (just this once!) and blame whatever you did on a scapegoat. The scapegoats I invite you to explore hark back to medieval imagery of the proverbial quirky devil on your right shoulder and the peaceful angel on your left, each vying for your attention.

Close your eyes, connect to your breath and imagine those adorable characters hovering around you. What do they look like? What are they doing? ….

Recognizing your devil

The devil, in whatever guise, will try to fool you for sure -That is what he does. He is a trickster and often pretends to be an angel, looking out for your best interests. Whatever tactic he chooses, your little devil barters fear and mischief to gain power. He speaks the language of the narcissistic and embodies the ego. He lifts you up only to tear you down. He keeps you trapped in doubt, judgment and conditions as he alternately bolsters and deflates your confidence. He is a teacher, a task master, a rescuer and, also a helper. However challenging he makes your life, he will help you grow if you allow him to.

Recognizing your angel

Your angel on the other hand, is not as loud or flamboyant so she is not always easy to hear. Your angel loves you unconditionally- that is what she does. She sees your light and wants you to shine. Your little angel deals in trust, forgiveness and gratitude. She speaks the language of the heart and embodies your wisdom. She looks for balance and will guide you back to center when you have gone too far to the right or too far to the left. She wants you to be curious and embrace your sense of wonder. When you fall, she gently holds you so you can pick yourself up. She is a guide, a motivator, a holder of space and helps you fly.

That devil in your life can spice up a seemingly hum drum life, but too much may keep you trapped behind steel bars. By the same token, that angel in your life keeps you connected to your true nature, but too much may keep you locked behind glistening bars. Accept your devil as part of who you are and he will keep you lively company. Accept your angel as a part of who you are and she will offer you sweet ground to walk on from which to reach up to the stars.

Use humour and play with imagery to help you move past challenging situations and see the funny side of life. So take a risk and maybe you will occasionally shoot yourself in the foot, but with a dash of angelic salt and a sprinkle of devilish pepper and a hearty dose of laughter you can overcome anything that comes your way.

To learn more about these funny characters and get additional healing tips visit the blog section of my website where I share complementary info on the blogs you read here.

Have fun with those devilish angels of yours…

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance” . 

You can visit her anytime at Nicole Rolland Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness (NRYM) to learn more about her classes, programs, mindfulness coaching, as well as, her blogs, podcasts and other healing tips to help you experience and remember the wholeness and perfection you are.

www.nicolerolland.com

Five Tips To Enjoy Mindfulness Intimacy With Your Love Partner

Close-up of couple’s feet at luxury resort

February and Valentine’s day go together like two peas in a pod and are the perfect opportunity to discuss topics of Romance and Love- Mindful style. Together these move you to experience sacred love that connects you with your inner divinity. If you are into mindful living this is definitely the type of intimacy you want to enjoy with your lover.  


Here are my five tips to make your intimacy more mindful.

1.Release expectations. Mindful intimacy is all about enjoying the moment without looking to what’s next or what happened before. Focus on the journey and not the destination. When you can cultivate the discipline to focus on today and love what is without expectations, what happens down the road can never disappoint you.

2. Remove Judgment:Mindful intimacy is about practicing non judgmental awareness. Judgment happens in the head and mindfulness happens in the heart. You may be addicted to living in a transactional society so love that does not come with conditions may seem hard to believe in. The heart feels so if your love feels right go with it and enjoy the moment, even if it does not make complete sense in your head. If you truly are in your heart, it will eventually.


3. Transparency:  Mindful intimacy is about being open about who you love. If there is a need to keep the relationship hidden from your parents, children, friends, partner or other, you may like to rethink your relationship until conditions allow for transparency. Any worry will prevent you from being present. Be open about the relationship and private about the rest.


3. Sensual: Mindful intimacy is about engaging all seven senses so choosing the right sounds, textures, scents, food and drink, decor to encourage the gradual building of heat. Don’t forget about the sixth and seventh senses – your sense of intuition and oneness, these are key to finding the right partner to experience the divine with.  I discuss these senses in Chapter Six of my book Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to living a Life of Joy, meaning & Abundance.


4. Simplicity: Like all things mindful, Mindful intimacy is all about keeping it simple. Simplicity helps you live in the present moment by removing stimuli that can distract, worry or make you anxious. 

And of course, don’t be shy about using your favourite essential oils- a few drops in your bathtub, massage oil or in your candle. Here are my five top Essential Oils for Lovers of Romance: Cinnamon, Ylang Ylang, Cardamon, Clove and Passion that you can get from my essential oil shop.

Release Expectations, Remove Judgment, Be Transparent, Tap into your Senses and Keep it simple so you can enjoy mindfulness in your intimate relationships, as well as, all your relationships. When you focus on loving what is, in the here and now, regardless of what happened yesterday or may happen tomorrow nothing can take away from the love you are feeling right now.

Enjoy the love!

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
www.nicolerolland.com


You Are Not A Robot- How to avoid becoming swallowed up by technology

I don’t know about you but sometimes I fear technology is trying to take over the world and turn us into robotic versions of who we truly are. It almost feels like we are on the brink of  WWIII- Humans against robots. You no doubt, like myself, appreciate all the conveniences of our modern world and may worry that you are becoming too dependent on technology.

Perhaps, you also notice how the world around you is becoming increasingly automated. You may wonder how you or the next generation will be able to effectively compete against artificial intelligence. You may even believe that you need to become more and more robotic to have a secure place in society.

If, like me, you value being human and are looking for ways to prevent yourself from becoming sucked into a robotic way of being, here are five tips to prevent you from becoming swallowed up into the vortex of technology.

1.Keep your vibration high

Spending time in nature is the most important thing you can do to mitigate the harmful effects that technology may have on your body/mind and spirit. It re-calibrates your vibration to the frequency of nature. The more time you spend on your phone and the internet the more you attune yourself to the frequency of man-made technology. To learn more about raising your rate of vibration you may want to read Power vs Force by David R. Hawkins M.D. Ph.D.

Other ways to keep your vibration up for example, include following your passion and tapping into your own well of creativity, practicing heart-based yoga, chanting high frequency mantras, listening to music…. If you need an extra boost, try getting a healing massage or receiving energy work such as Reiki, Sound Healing or Cranio-Sacral. To Learn more about rates of vibration you may also want to read Chapter 2 “Understanding and living the universal principles “of Stepping into Consciousness- a Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance.

2. Awaken your 7 senses

I believe that the combination of aging, societal norms and life experience numb the senses. For instance notice how with age, senses seem to need an extra boost to do their job: salt and flavour enhancers are added to food, chemicals to scents, noise to sound, synthetic fibers to natural coverings and make up to natural beauty. You may not even trust your own intuition because you are so used to relying on outside gurus rather than your inner truth. Even the sense of oneness that you came into the world with, when you were connected to your mother and the world through her, often gets forgotten and needs to be remembered. To learn more about my teachings on the process of ascension of the seven senses, you may be interested in chapter 6 “Discovering and Living our truth” of Stepping into Consciousness- a Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance

Once you start to smell, taste, feel, hear and see vividly through these five primary senses you can then sense with your heart and soul your interconnectedness with the world around you. This enables you to preserve the human qualities that make you human rather than robotic. No need to look, speak or think like a robot.

3. Show affection and share true feelings

Only once you have re-awoken your seven senses can you feel comfortable showing real affection and sharing true feelings. Perhaps you already do this within the confines of your circle of loved ones but cannot fully open up to the love around you. This is normal, you have no doubt tried and been hurt in the past. It is imperative that you try again, take baby steps and remember everyone is in the same boat. Until this happens you will continue to live in fear about embarrassing yourself, being made fun of, being judged as weak, negative or whatever prevents you from showing up as “you”.

Real strength comes from sharing who you truly are, not by wearing a strong mask glued on with crazy glue or erecting fortifying walls around your heart. Having a positive outlook has little to do with saying positive things but more about being honest and accepting of what is.

4. Show vulnerability to heal shame

You are vulnerable on many levels, regardless of how many “resources” you think you have at your disposal. You can get sick, have an accident, get hurt, taken advantage of, or get caught in a natural disaster at any moment, just like anyone. Placing your attention on what doesn’t last rather than on what does – the perfection of your very soul, just makes you all the more vulnerable. When you focus on your perfection, that part of you that is always whole, you become truly invulnerable because you have nothing to fear. Make mistakes, welcome them in and share them with others so mistakes become celebrated as opportunities for growth rather than daggers to reinforce shame.

Learn to be you, not a robot.

5. Spread love where you go and in all you do

As you embody the love that you are, you will naturally spread love to all you meet and in all you do. Don’t neglect spreading love on the internet and using your technology in loving ways. This will influence AI in a positive fashion so the robots you do come into contact with be loving, compassionate and kind ones 🙂 Spread love as much as you can and to the best of your ability. Set your boundaries and protect your energy first and foremost by following my five pillars to spiritual living.

Watch my Five Pillars to spiritual living on my Youtube channel

  • Let go of expectation
  • Manage your ego
  • Face fears
  • Take responsibility
  • Connect to a larger purpose are five ways to help you spread the love that you are in a way that not only makes you and others feel good but that also feeds AI the love it needs to build its own loving intelligence.

Namaste and many blessings to you,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com www.nicolerolland.com

What Is The Root Cause Of Narcissism And What Can You Do About It?

Narcissism can be considered the shadow side of healthy self love where a person falls in love with an image of who they think they are rather than their true self. Narcissistic behaviour will go to extreme lengths to protect this image. Narcissists are disconnected from their  true nature and enjoy using patriarchal tools of  control, division, establishing hierarchy, and fostering competition to meet their needs. Matriarchal qualities, on the other hand, favour letting go, unity, equality and cooperation. I see that the dual reality is more paternalistic, whereas oneness is anchored in a matriarchal mindset (Please note that in my teachings patriarchal and matriarchal have nothing to do with gender so please do not go into any gender bias here). So, what causes narcissism?

Shame leads to narcissism

Shame is archetypal and thrives in duality and dies in oneness. What does this mean? Basically the more you live in a reality where you judge something as worthy/unworthy, right/wrong, good/bad the more you will live in a place of shame. On the other hand, when you are able to move to a place of oneness where everything is perfect just the way it is there is no shame because there is no judgment of right/wrong, beautiful/ugly and good/ bad. There is simply what is.

 Shame goes hand in hand with judgment

Wherever there is judgment there will be fear. Wherever there is fear there will be shame. Ergo judgment, fear and shame are one and the same. There can be shame in being a woman, but also in being  a man; in being poor, but also in being rich; in being ugly, but also in being beautiful; in being young, but also in being old… Remove the fear and the judgment and you remove the shame.

Judgment….. > Fear ….. > Shame

What is at the root of shame?

The root of it all in my opinion is the fear of being “you”- a “you” that is unique and different from the rest. I believe this fear is deeply ingrained because of the fear of being judged. Who likes to be judged? From working with many clients over the years, not many is the answer. What would you do to avoid being judged? What have you done in the past to avoid being judged? What have you judged? Take a few minutes, breathe and notice what comes up for you….

Perhaps  you felt compelled to hide your true thoughts and feelings to fit in, to not stand up for something you believed in, or conversely, to stand up for something you did not believe in. Whatever strategy you chose, you chose it for a reason that made sense to you at the time. Thankfully, you can now learn more about your fears and how to move past them so you can live mindfully in my Ten Week Mindful Living Program which begins September 19, 2019  in Montreal. You will finally get all the answers you need to love yourself for who you are, just the way you are. 

The root of all shame is pretending you are like everyone else and hiding your uniqueness 

How are shame and narcissism connected?

The more someone buys into the dual reality of the patriarchy, the more that person is surrounded by judgment and fear. As a result, he may feel pushed by the need to prove that he is right at all costs. Narcissists do this by elevating themselves by putting others down. A narcissist cannot see her own perfection so cannot rely on her own inner power to elevate herself. Consequently, she steals it from others. Learn more about narcissism by reading my blogs on narcissism .

How to heal shame?

The more you buy into a story that being “you” is wrong, the more difficult it will be for you to remember your true self. When you can tap into the perfection of your true nature, you can heal the deep seated shame of being uniquely you and find your place in the oneness of life.

Oneness Does Not Mean Sameness 

Just like your arm is different from your leg- they are both one with your body and when they work together they can help you get from point A to point B more efficiently than if you relied on one or the other. So too are you different from your neighbour, but just as important. 

When you heal shame, you can heal any narcissist tendencies you have that you or anyone else is better/worse, superior/inferior,  or more/less worthy somehow. Here are three steps to heal shame:

  • Practice self- acceptance: Step out of judgment and fear
  • Build community that is right for you: Find your tribe 
  • Show vulnerability: Connect to your inner perfection  

To properly understand how to remember the perfection that you are and have always been and to apply the principles you need so you and your loved ones can heal from shame once and for all, it’s important to read Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance.

Get your personalized copy of Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, & Abundance Today.

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)- Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching

T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com 

www.nicolerolland.com

Thoughts On Forgiveness- How Never To Say Sorry

Jesus’ words from the cross – “Forgive them for they know not what they do” asking forgiveness for those who put him to death reminds me of the hurt we unwillingly inflict on each other and mother earth- not because of malicious intent but more because of neglect- neglecting to remember our true nature.

What happens to a neglected garden? Weeds take root, spread and prevent the planted flowers from blossoming. The same holds true when you neglect your spiritual garden- lies take root, spread and prevent your truth from blossoming into remembering the one great Truth that you are Truth.

The one great Truth is you are Truth

Why does this happen?

The ego does not want you to remember your true nature which explains the direct correlation between ego driven people and unloving behaviour. The ego loathes true love as it gets in the way of upholding the patriarchal values of control, division, competition and  hierarchy it holds so dear.

The ego of course, also plays a useful role in keeping you safe, and it’s only when it tries to take over your inner wisdom and you allow yourself to be defined by it that it becomes problematic.

So what to do?

Forgive yourself for neglecting your garden and make amends. Don’t bother saying sorry- that is another empty word in my opinion, like the words nice, happy and successful. The word “sorry” keeps you trapped in the dual reality of feeling guilt and shame- guilt that you have done something wrong and shame that you are wrong. Instead, you want to move past saying sorry and go straight to making amends.

What is an amend?

An amend, in my opinion, is an action that reflects the fact that you have remembered the Truth of who you are.

How to make an amend?

One way, is to connect to that part of you that is always loving, kind and  compassionate and then make a gesture- in thought, word or action. You return like with like. If you regret an action you did to someone, you make amends with an action. If you uttered words you wish were never said, you choose new words and, in a similar way, new thoughts will make amends for thoughts you would like to undo. The other person doesn’t even need to know about it. The energy of the action will be enough to wipe the slate clean.

Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)

Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation
Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com

How to Play “Move Into Your Heart”

Here’s a little game I created called “Move into your Heart“.

This is how it works:

Replace each item from list A with a corresponding item from list B and notice what happens….

List A: NRYM top ten things people seem to want and struggle to achieve
List B: NRYM top 10 things people truly want and can easily achieve

visit here to play

Enjoy!

Nicole

Nicole Rolland

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)

Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation
Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com

 

 

 

 

 

How To Step Back So Mindfulness Can Step In

Living mindfully is all about living in the present moment in a place of non judgment and acceptance- this takes time and patience. You cannot expect to achieve this after an evening seminar, a thought provoking book, a weekend workshop, a teacher certification..and no, a trip to India will not bestow enlightened status either.  In fact you cannot be looking for it at all, it just happens gradually, in its own time, guided by an invisible force that leads the way. So, How to step back so mindfulness can step in? Here are 5 tips to help you live more mindfully.

  1. Let go of expectations.  Though every action leads to a reaction, when you let go of expectations you are not placing a hope on a intended reaction. Instead, during interactions, do not think about what you may or may not get out of the exchange or feel that you need to protect/defend your point of you. Simply allow the exchange to unfold. Replace expectation and enjoy the experience.                                                                                                                                                        
  2. Stop judging. A judgment keeps you trapped in duality – right/wrong, good/bad, better/worse. It also keeps you tethered to expectation where you risk disappointment. If you do something better than someone else you will get a higher reward: more money, increased status, a promotion, more friends…  Replace judgment with observations.                                                                                                                              
  3. Step way from consumerism. Consumerism equates with needing more to satisfy the ego. The ego is never satisfied with what is. It pushes you to acquire more so you can feel that you are more somehow.  This does not mean you need to deprive yourself in any way. Instead, choose to fill your heart with gratitude.  Replace needing more with having what you need.                                                                                                  
  4. Embrace contradictions. It makes sense to want clarity. However, the issue arises when clarity pushes you into an “all or nothing” binary mindset. For instance, you can be successful, smart, disciplined, loving in one area of your life and ignorant, weak willed, sneaky and manipulative in another. To  bring polar opposites  of black and white together to create the colour grey accept all parts of your multifaceted self. Replace “all or nothing” thinking with acceptance of all that is.                                                                                                              
  5. Don’t get discouraged.  Give yourself a second, third, fourth, fifth…. chance when you make a mistake. When learning basic skills like reading, writing, and arithmetic  you don’t quit after a setback. You do what is needed to learn to read, write and do your sums so you can function in the world. Learning to live mindfully is a skill that is just as important. When you find yourself giving in to worry and fear, get curious about new ways to move into the here and now present tense. Replace discouragement  with  curiosity.                                                                                                                                                                       ….and then perhaps, the more you can let go of expectations, stop judging, step away from consumerism, embrace contradictions and limit discouragement, you may notice that you are spending more and more time enjoying the present moment without even trying.

Allow yourself to step back so mindfulness can step in

To learn more, join me for my next event in Montreal                                     “How meditation and mindfulness can help”                                                              Info session to learn more about meditation and mindfulness.                            Thursday January 17, 2019                                                                                                       7.30 to 8.30 pm                                                                                                                              2962 Rue Lapierre in Lasalle.                                                                                                  RSVP to reserve your spot Here                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Namaste,

Nicole

Nicole Rolland

Nicole Rolland is the author of  “Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance”  and the owner of Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation (NRYM)

Nicole Rolland Yoga & Meditation
Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness Coaching
T (1) 514.824.8510
​info@nicolerolland.com